When life happens in a bad way

I realize I have been very lax lately in writing here, but I have been dealing with a lot of personal issues - being laid off again (second time in a year), hardcore depression, stuff like that there. But today, something happened that is making me really take a very hard long look at my life.

I have been surrounded by death for a very long time. My best friend from Texas was killed in a hotel fire sixteen years ago, and that started a bizarre cascade of suicides and murders that have left me very jaded. However, today I am faced with something that shakes me to my very core. My friend Steve had a brain aneurysm today at 12:30. It's one of those weird things that has no rhyme or reason, and despite his health issues, this had nothing to do with any of them. He survived the crucial first few hours and he is currently heavily sedated in a neuro-trauma ICU at St. John's. I've done some research, and it is possible to return to a normal life after such an event, but it takes a lot of time and effort on everyone's part.

Steve and his wife Robin, as well as all the kids, are family. I have known them for more years than I care to say - the older kids consider me their third mom, after their real mom and their step-mom Robin. The two youngest are especially precious to me (if you know me, then you know why!) and Heather just turned five, so they are quite young still.

Maybe the thing that is bothering me the most is that Steve is six months younger than me. There are three of us that are damn near the same age - me, Steve and Sylvanus. Sylvanus is a month older than me and Steve is the youngest of us, but we are all Fire Horses according to Chinese astrology and we are all most assuredly part of Generation X. We are all close friends, despite any arguments and disagreements we've had over the years. Steve has had some fairly major health issues and he is still dealing with diabetes, but this - this is one of those random unknowns that no one can ever expect.

So - I anticipate being very busy for the next few months, maybe years, I don't know. Whatever it takes, I'm gonna be there. These people are my family. I love them, and I will be there for them, no matter what. My past embarrassments don't matter anymore. They are dear to me.

The Seventh Incarnation of the Mother

There is currently a series on the Science Channel that is exploring the birth, life, death and rebirth of our planet, as well as the emergence of life during these times. According what scientists have been able to determine, the cycle goes like this:

Earth is hit by an asteroid that creates a catastrophic chain reaction. First, everything is super-heated and essentially sterilized by fire. Then, a cooling begins, creating what becomes a giant snowball in space. Eventually the ice begins to melt and forms of life begin to appear. Plants grow, animals evolve and all is happy for a few million years. Until Earth is hit again.

This has happened six times.

According to what the scientists can figure out, each time the Earth dies and is reborn, life returns as well. That would mean the Earth manages to keep the keys to creating life deep within Herself, even though the surface has been cleansed by fire and ice.

The Earth truly is our Mother.

And now we have scientific proof!

On another subject, I would like for everyone out there to think about this for a minute - why are you a Pagan? Why do you stand beneath the moon and call to the God and Goddess? What is it about this spirituality that "does it" for you?

I have recently been on a very intimate quest to understand - for myself - the reasons for being Pagan. I know that I chose this path when I was younger because I felt this was the best way to honor the Mother and the Father and to celebrate my own life as a child of the Gods. But recently, it seems I've forgotten that. I started worrying about what other people might think if I actually enjoyed myself in public and had a good time wherever I was. I got so wrapped up in the "what will they think" mentality that I forgot to be myself and became very depressed.

Then one day, my friend Nova pointed me to this strange person who was also incredibly wrapped up in the "what will they think" mentality. I spent countless hours looking over this person's blogs and writings, and determined this person was some sort of fundamentalist nutcase, too busy casting stones at others to pay much attention to his own household. Yeah, you know, . . .

Anyway, I realized I was in danger of becoming just like that. No fun in that! So for the past few months I've been doing a lot of introspection and self-examination. I feel like I owe all of my friends and family a huge apology for becoming a lame-ass drag.

And with that, I would just like to say that changes can be expected! Beltane is coming up very quickly, and I'm glad to say that this year's celebration will indeed be a celebration!

I am a Child of Gods, divine and divinely inspired.

The Purpose of Religion

I have recently found myself wondering why religion is so important to people. If you follow a Christian ideology, then there are the threats of damnation and the promise of an everlasting life filled with bliss and happiness. I believe all the book religions make a promise of eternal life and joy. I've seen many indigenous religions that feel the need to appease the Gods so there is less pain and strife, but is there a reward for them at the end of their lives? Generally, there is reincarnation into a life that is easier as reward for those that have lived a good life, and something harsher for those that did not.

But what of the Pagan? We believe in Gods and Goddesses and we believe in reincarnation. Is there a reward for us at the end of our lives? If we live a good life, if we are kind to others and do what we can to help our fellow human, what happens when we die?

I was taught early on that as we reincarnate through all our lives, we accumulate knowledge which is then taken back to the source that is God. As I've gotten older, I've run into a problem with that - why would God need that knowledge if God created all that we are? So that belief changed into this: we need the experiences so WE can grow and become more compassionate, which in turn is supposed to bring us closer to understanding what it means to be as God/dess. But then I started seeing all these natural disasters and wars, and it seemed as if God/dess had lost all sense of compassion. And I lost all faith.

I believe there is God/dess. I don't believe any of us really know what God/dess is, but I do believe in the existence of Deity. I don't know if all of our bowing and scraping is really necessary to them. It is necessary for us, because we need to know we can connect to Deity in some way, and we need to know they hear us. But do the Gods need us? Do the Gods need our worship and prayer?

"You have no need of prayer, yet we offer these, our prayers.
You have no need for worship, yet we worship you here.
You have no need for sacrifice, yet we offer you sacrifice."

So what's the point?

Some religions would have us believe our immorality is what's creating all these natural disasters and wars. I believe it's man's inhumanity to man - "my dick's bigger than your dick" syndrome. Rather than reaching out to our brothers and sisters and trying to make this a place where we can live in peace, we are creating our own hell on Earth by poisoning the waters and the atmosphere and trying to kill each other. Sadly, much of it has been (and is still being) done in the name of religion. One group of people does not worship like another group of people, so the first group is blasphemous and must be punished. There are so many different kinds of people on this planet, yet we cannot celebrate our differences - we must pound the shit out of anybody that's even slightly different.

Maybe the point of being a Pagan is to learn tolerance and compassion. Historically speaking, the Gods and Goddesses of my ancestors weren't exactly kind individuals - they were warriors and kings and queens, but I believe even Gods and Goddesses learn over time. They may not walk the Earth with us in physical form, but they are here, and - I believe - they do hear us. It's not just elementals or Earth energy or beings from different planes of existence. They are Gods and Goddesses and they are a part of who and what we are. We should honor them and respect them, not because we have to or because we're afraid of them, but simply because they are. Just as we are one with the Earth, we are one with the Gods.

Sometimes I forget.

Hillary Clinton and the Curse of Being a Woman

Oooh, two posts in one day!

Yesterday, the results of the New Hampshire primaries were released. The winners were John McCain for the Republicans and Hillary Clinton for the Democrats.

I tend to vote Democrat. I am at heart an anarchist, and I get pretty pissed at anyone that tries to tell me how I should be living and worshipping. At least with Dems I feel I can be myself and not worry about a lynch mob showing up in my yard one day. And yes, I know there are other political parties in this country, but let’s face it – we are pretty much stuck with the lesser of two evils when it comes to politicians.

Anyway, when it comes to policy, I don’t really care for Clinton’s stand on a lot of different issues. I think it’s awesome that she’s running for president, but I’m not going to make my decision based on gender, race, religion, etc. I want to know that our next president will be able to restore our rights and make friends with the rest of the world again.

I would hope that the rest of this country would also make their votes based on how their candidate addresses issues that concern them. I would hope that, as a country, we are able to see past gender and race, and be able to truly focus on what’s important to all of us, not just the top ten percent of rich fat cats. I would hope that we would be happy to see a human side to any and all candidates and not instantly assumed it was staged.

You see, the night before the primaries in New Hampshire, Clinton got a little emotional. It happens. Immediately, every right-wing conservative that could get to a blog or a news outlet accused her of setting it up, staging her tears, acting her way through a meeting. After the final results of the primaries came out, the accusations got worse. Oh, she acted like she really cared, just so she could win. Oh, she’s playing on people’s feelings, pretending like she’s really human, just like everyone else. And according to some, it’s the only reason she won the primaries.

Why? Because she’s a woman?

For the first time in a very long time, I feel compelled to say something about treating someone differently because of gender. So she got a little teary-eyed. So what? She’s certainly not the first candidate to get a little emotional during their campaign, but I do believe she may be the first to be accused of attempting to garner sympathy that way. Is it because people think she’s so cold? Or is she supposed to be stronger than anyone else?

Funny thing about strong women – they are often personified as “bitches,” “ball-busters,” and yes, even cold. It’s ok for a guy to be strong and show little emotion in the face of a stressful situation, but a woman – well, there’s something wrong with her if she’s strong with little emotion. But then, if she breaks down into tears, she’s weak. So which is it?

What made me even angrier was a post I saw from another Pagan woman saying that Clinton must have been acting and that was how she won the New Hampshire primaries. It’s not that I think all Pagan women should be supporting Clinton, but don’t you think we should at least be giving her the benefit of the doubt? Pagan women are supposed to be strong women. I know I’ve been accused of being cold and harsh, and I know what it’s like to stand in the spotlight and have people say horrible things about me. So if another woman comes under attack for being human, I have to come to her defense.

Here’s a great article by Erica Jong about Clinton and the N. H. primaries. I thought it was a good observation of the whole thing. I invite you to read it, think about it, and truly look into your soul and decide if sexism will be a factor in this presidential election and how much it affects your own decisions. Not just for president, but in all aspects of your life.

Happy New Year, and some bits and pieces

Ok, I haven’t been doing much of anything lately, and I apologize for not keeping up with my entries here. Holidays, family, blah, blah, blah.

We are holding a formal passing-over ritual for my friend Raven on January 8th in the mouth of a cave. It’ll be dark of the moon, and the cave is a great place for death and rebirth. I did edit some film from when we held our wake for Raven and I plan on getting that online in the next couple of days.

There’s a fantastic entry over at The Wild Hunt concerning Paganism and sermons. There’s been several discussions everywhere lately about the “watering down” of Paganism, and the idea of what I’ve considered congregational Paganism – one person stands up in front of everyone else and pretty much does all the talking and any performing of ritual that might occur, although the trend in recent years seems to be less ritual and more lecturing. Granted, if you’re not Wiccan or even necessarily Pagan, then it’s not going to affect you unless you are looking to get away from that sheep-type mentality of “this is how I think and this is how you should think, too.” But a big part of the appeal of Paganism for me has always been being able to think for oneself without having another’s dogma shoved down one’s throat.

Finally, I’d just like to say I hate the post office. I went to buy a stamp last night – one flippin’ stamp! – and I found it nearly impossible to do so. At one time, there were at least six machines in the lobby of the post office in which you could drop coins and they would spit out a stamp at you. Last night, there were only three machines in the lobby – one was turned off, one was malfunctioning, and the third one did not take real money, only credit cards. I looked at the line waiting to speak with actual postal employees, but it would have taken me at least half an hour to get up to the front of the line. I did not have half an hour.

I ended up buying my stamp at Dillon’s.

How ‘bout them modern conveniences???

Regarding my previous post

"The Wild Hunt" has also posted up a blog here about the ongoing investigation into the SIGER scandal and the Witch that's been singled out during the government investigation. He cites a few more sources, and poses more questions about the investigation, asking whether or not this is a smear campaign on the part of someone in the office.

Someday I'll learn to not be so emotional when I post up news info!

The ONLY mention of Wicca in this article, . . . .

. . . . has to do with the inappropriate actions of a woman that is part of the Special Inspector General's office that is supposed to be overseeing the efforts in Iraq. Story is here. Read the whole story. The woman in question is mentioned at the end of the article, and I really have to question the reason behind it.

First off, how does that have anything to do with the actions of the Special Inspector General's office and the way it's handling the funds and power needed to rebuild a country? Second, if she was already cleared in an internal investigation, why bring it up in a national story? And --- this is one of my biggest pet peeves --- "self-proclaimed???" I'm gonna start referring to Xians as "self-proclaimed."

Oh, and they didn't capitalize "Wiccan." Grrr!!!

Do-gooders can become the worst cheats

This is an article I found on MSNBC on people that believe they are "doing the right thing:"

"Morally upstanding people are the do-gooders of society, right? Actually, a new study finds that a sense of moral superiority can lead to unethical acts, such as cheating. In fact, some of the best do-gooders can become the worst cheats."

Rest of the article can be found here.

I think this is an important article for anyone to read, especially considering the number of "crusaders" that have been running around lately, calling for the downfall of some people and the grand idea that all Pagans should start following Christian ethics. There's just so much wrong with that line of thought, . . . .

Anyway, the article is based on a scientific study that's in the November issue of the Journal of Applied Psychology. They talk about an interesting line of thought in which the cheater believes the final outcome outweighs the current circumstances. That brings in a whole new bunch of info for the discussions over ethics and morals - if you do something right now that you know is wrong, yet you believe the final outcome will be good, is it alright to do the wrong thing? What if there was another way to achieve the goal? And who gets to decide what is ethically and morally correct, especially for all Pagans?

Where does violence belong in the Pagan Community?

I realize there are a lot of different traditions and paths that have no problem with violence, especially against someone that deserves it. Hell, there's a couple of people I wouldn't mind putting a boot up their ass myself, but, . . . .

If we are violent and mindless in our pursuits for what we perceive as "justice," what are we doing to ourselves? I don't care about the Law of Return or any sort of karmic fallout. I'm talking about what we do to ourselves as 1) human beings and 2) Pagans.

I have seen a couple of different posts on other blogs lately referring to what would amount to vigilante justice. If there's a crime being committed and the cops won't do anything about it, then I see nothing wrong with taking things into your own hands. But don't you think you better be damn sure about who you're accusing?

My lovely little town has an unenviable history when it comes to vigilante justice. Right around the turn of the century in the early 1900s, three young black men were lynched on our town square because a white woman accused them of raping her. Of course, it wasn't until after the young men were murdered that the woman came forward and told the authorities she was never raped and had been put up to accusing the young men by several of the "upstanding" white men of our city. Seems that the white business owners of Springfield were tired of the black business owners being so profitable and decided to drive them out of town. Well, they succeeded.

One person. That's all it took.

Was that the right thing to do? No, although I'm sure 100 years ago, that's what the business owners here thought needed to be done. Vigilante justice at it's finest.

You can find all the information in the world about the lynchings here. Just google Springfield, MO, lynching.

****************edited later same day*******************

And here ya go, a perfect example. Witnesses, victims, physical proof, and the charges have been dropped. Justice? Certainly not in this case. Shall we take bets on how long it will be before this church gets burned out?

The Pagan Show

The latest version of The Pagan Show is now up for everyone to see! Not to offend anyone's delicate sensibilities, but there is footage of Gavin and Yvonne Frost (gasp!) at a handfasting during Samhain.

Enjoy!

A response to an attendee of the RWB

This is something I had posted up on another blog in response to another person's comment about the events in Ohio:

"I understand not everyone agrees with Drew and his methods, and for that I am grateful. His motives may seem of good intent, but I do question his methods. Please understand that from our end of it, it looks like this whole thing was geared by Drew, orchestrated by Drew, and he's pushing people to declare the Frosts pedophiles and rapists, despite evidence to the contrary. As for the event in Ohio, again, we haven't heard anything about it except for the description that Drew himself gave on the Frosts' blog about the desecration of the effigies. If we knew more about it and the people involved, that might be helpful to everyone, but unfortunately, all we hear is accusations, hate, and basically a bunch of crap. It's the same way with the Frosts - if we all base our decisions on one piece of information, how much accuracy can there really be?"

Just thought that bore repeating.

The Pagan Show and other stuff

Well, got the show done, and in record time, I think. It'll be showing this Friday on channel 26 here in Springfield, MO., and I'll have it up for everyone to see online this Saturday. And yes, it'll have those rabble-rousing, evil people, Gavin and Yvonne! See them rouse the rabble! See them, . . . well, really, all they did was attend the Ball and hang out for a bit. Sorry, nothing weird and disgusting happened at our Witch's Ball. Which, from what I understand, is very different from what happened at the event in Ohio. Holy Gods. I'm still really disturbed to think that, not only were they capable of doing what they did - to dolls, no less - but then turned around and gave a lovely description of it for all to read.

Anyway, I'll let everyone know when the show is up. Meantime, you can go here and see some from the past few months. I'm thinking I'll go ahead and put up some of the older shows from years past from time to time, just for yuks.

My hope for the New Year - maturity for all people. I know that my group and my community has a lot of work ahead of us, and I'm really looking forward to it! All this energy everyone has been putting towards tearing each other down and proving how more depraved one is than the other - it could be put to something much more useful. We are doing more harm to ourselves than any Christian group could ever hope for.

A proposal - unity will be needed in order to move forward. Rather than spending time trying to destroy each other, our time and energy would be better spent creating community. We need to stop attacking each other, especially in public. If you have a problem with someone, take it to that person or group - don't air everything and make us look like even bigger flakes. (I'd also like to take this time to point out that using email and blogs is not always the best way to contact people when you have issues - not everyone is tech-savvy.)

The proposal is to create a kind of contract between groups that would state no public attacks. That doesn't mean you would have to be all buddy-buddy with anyone or even agree with their path. It's simply an agreement to disagree when warranted, but there will be no "airing of grievances." Instead, all parties concerned would act like mature adults and discuss things in a rational manner whenever there is a true problem that requires addressing.

Simple, yes?

I'd like to know what others think of this.

Grrrr, . . . I wasn't gonna do this, . . . . .

Really, I wasn't, but this just bugs the Hel out of me. When people make assumptions without knowing facts or having anything to back up their claim, we become no better than the people who created "Satanic Panic" in the eighties and nineties. Seriously, people:

WonderGoon Says: October 19th, 2007 at 5:27 pm
AJ Drew Said: “So despite the information being a lie, folk read it and believe it.”
There are sheep amongst us.
Seriously, I think that’s what it boils down to. A lot of people, even amongst Pagans, are sheep. They blindly follow “leaders” who they are impressed by, or whom they first read, and stay right behind them.
In a very few cases, these people will wake up, see what horrible monsters they’ve been following and strike out on their own.
Not saying all Pagan authors are bad, here, just a few.
As for Shadowhawk, if Gavin or Yvonne Frost suddenly stopped, his nose would go straight up their asses.
I am truly curious as to what the Frosts think of him, if they are even aware of his existence. This is a guy who side-stepped the issue of calling people names, calling children names, so he could further attack you.
I do think he has anger issues. I also think he was molested as a child and is covering it up by “protecting” the Frosts, who, deep down, he knows committed these acts.
Sigh. It’s enough to make me want to shit nails.
Be well my friend.WonderGoon

Well, yes, the Frosts do know Shadowhawk. However, the people that continue to write about him don't know him. (For that matter, they don't know the Frosts, either.) They don't know anything about his childhood, and I think making assumptions about it is pretty low. I know Shadowhawk - no surprise, I'm sure - and while I may not always agree with his methods, I definitely don't agree with assuming crap without knowing the truth of the matter.

As for the statement of knowing "deep down," that the Frosts committed "these acts,". . . . for crying out loud, people! Maybe it's my own fault for not taking the bait and subbing onto Pagan Nation to attempt to do away with these idiotic claims. Maybe it's their fault for not bothering to believe their own research and not finding anyone that can make these claims. Let me say this one more time:

I know, for a fact, that I was NOT molested or abused or "ritually deflowered" by the Frosts or my parents. I do not know of ANYone that was, nor do I know of anyone whose parents performed the "ritual deflowering." I am not a history scholar, and I don't know anything about it's origins, so don't ask me.

I know some of the folks from Pagan Nation read my blog, so feel free to share my information. But then again, I fully expect they won't because I might prove someone wrong.

*******Edited on 10/30/07***************
I just found out the person that goes by Wondergoon has this particular entry listed in their blog, saying this is Shadowhawk's blog, and that Wondergoon left some comment somewhere. Well, there was no comment left here by anyone named Wondergoon, and Shadowhawk's blog is called "Pagan Perspectives." You can find on the right side of this blog, at the top. I'm Fenix. How are you? Having a good day? That's nice.

Seeing some glimmers of hope

I've been watching many different blogs lately, and man, it's been a crazy couple of weeks in the blogosphere. However, the most interesting thing I've noticed is a decided change in the tone of many bloggers concerning the controversy over Gavin and Yvonne. As I've stated before, I don't study their tradition and I don't necessarily care for their books, but I have known them for a very long time. I do take exception to people accusing them of promoting child abuse because of what amounts to three pages in one book (out of how many others???) that was written some thirty five years ago during a time of sexual revolution and the use of literature for shock value.

When I first waded into this mess, the accusations were that, because of the Frosts' teachings, parents across the country were sexually molesting their children. Anyone involved with the Frosts in the Seventies was suspect. Obviously, I had to chime in. I've noticed there's been a real change since I did. For that, I am grateful. I am grateful that people have enough sense to listen to the facts and think for themselves, rather than allowing themselves to get all worked up over a definite hot-button topic and go along with the mob mentality.

I'm looking forward to seeing Gavin and Yvonne on Friday. They are getting up in years, and I don't know how much longer we're going to be able to have them visit us here in the Ozarks. I really worry about them driving halfway across the country by themselves!

On another note, seems I'm no longer blocked from a certain blog. What a pleasant surprise! - I think.

Time for a change

Well, just as I figured would happen, I've grown weary of the name-calling, word-twisting, and nit-picking of this unbelievable drama that certain people have insisted on pushing. I've been accused of wanting to cover up criminal activity, even though I said quite plainly that law-breakers are turned over to the police and I have known there to be law-breakers at gatherings. I've been ignored when presenting facts about my upbringing. And now I've been blocked from one blogger's site because -- well, honestly, I don't know why. We had a civil exchange in which he invited me to continue the conversation, then he promptly blocked me from his blog

What does this all mean? Hell if I know. Most likely, it means what I once thought was a flourishing community is actually a festering cesspool of hurt feelings and hidden agendas. I have spent years trying to convince nonPagans in our area (which happen to be the majority!) that we are not evil monsters out to corrupt their precious little children. I daresay, the work that's been done by Mr. Drew has gone a long way towards destroying that. Had this been approached in a rational, mature manner, some truly good work might have happened. Instead, we have mud-slinging on a level any politician would be proud of.

I am in no way condoning the cover-up of criminal activities at Pagan events. As a matter of fact, there's been a number of events I've attended where the local sheriff or police department was invited out to check things out and make sure no laws were being broken. I myself have had the local fire chief visit my Beltane celebration to make sure everything was in order. It was, and we had a great celebration.

And does Mr. Drew have any regrets for placing all of us in a dangerous position with the rest of the world? I'm not sure the man knows the meaning of the word. I'm also not sure he truly understands the gravity of the situation. It's not been that long ago that I had to go to court myself with an attorney who made disparaging remarks about my ability as a mother simply because I'm Pagan. Thankfully, the judge was smart enough to realize that children cannot be taken away from a parent because of religion. Yes, my ex tried to prove I was an unfit mother and that my children were in danger because I had CANDLES in my house! Not the brightest crayon in the box - which is why he's my ex.



Anyway, the longer this goes on, the more I believe it has truly gotten out of hand. What does it benefit to call people names and accuse them of horrible crimes, especially when there is no proof whatsoever? Who looks the bigger fool then? If you are against pedophila and child rape, then wonderful. You'd be insane not to be, and I applaud your stance. If you want to do something about it, even better. Be the champion. If you know that someone is a pedophile, or if you have reason to suspect someone, please take your proof to the police and turn them in. If there are pedophiles running about, then they need to be taken off the street. Wouldn't you agree? I know that if I thought my children were in danger, I most certainly would do everything in my power to protect them.

No good can come of this circus. Any unbalanced individual can claim a book or a passage from a book compelled them to harm a child or a loved one. What about the people that commit atrocities in the name of the Bible? What about the kids that get their hands on some of the subversive literature from the sixties with instructions on creating bombs? If we are so concerned with the content of one, single book, should we begin censoring ALL books?

When Damien Echols was arrested and charged with the murder of three eight year old boys in West Memphis, AR., he had "The Satanic Bible" and a couple of books on Wicca in his house. By the logic I've seen lately, we should be suspicious of all these books and most likely censor whatever we might find offensive. But as anyone who is familiar with The West Memphis Three knows, that would be utterly ridiculous, for a number of reasons. Of course, that leads me to another question, . . . .

Who among us is capable of deciding what is "right" for reading and what is wrong? Who gets to decide what constitutes "true" Wicca or Paganism? I had always believed that being Pagan meant we think for ourselves, and no one dictates how we worship or think. The whole mentality of "if you're not with me, you're against me" is something Pagans just don't recognize. Or at least, that's what I had always thought.

I do wonder if our spirituality has been watered down by Christianity. We're creating our own Witch hunts now. We don't need anyone else's help to destroy ourselves.

I propose we pull away from this fiasco. I will defend myself, but I will not resort to calling names, questioning mental capacity, or twisting words around to try and imply criminal activity. I would love to see others rise above the immaturity and be a Pagan community again. A house divided will fall -- we should know that by now, and allowing ourselves to be divided will only create chaos -- worse than the chaos we have now.

Read this, . . .

It's a quote from an article about toxic work situations:

"They insert themselves when you're not around. So you're going to have to forge your own PR campaign and let people know the truth. We don't suggest you confront the back stabber -- it won't get you anywhere. But remember, back stabbers think they can't get anywhere on their own, that they have to bring someone down in order to succeed. They'll eventually sink their own ship."

They have to bring someone down in order to succeed, . . . .

We've all been the victim of someone that needs to put others down in order to make themselves feel more important. As Pagans, it's all the more disheartening when someone feels the need to tear another Pagan down just to make themselves look good.

When you see someone start making horrible accusations and demanding heads on platters, may I suggest you do some research on the shit-slinger? You might be surprised by what you find out.

Remember?

Remember when it was ok to be a Pagan? When it was acceptable to run around on private land without a top on and bask in the sunlight? Seriously, there's nothing like it.

Remember when it was ok to be happy with your sexuality and be a woman or man without limitations? To truly embody the God and Goddess? And that would make people smile?

Remember when you could voice an opinion and someone would say, "well, I don't agree, but to each their own"? Remember when we decided to agree to disagree? But we could still be at a gathering at the same time? And there was no bloodshed?

Remember when we would do our best to support each other and be a part of the whole? Remember when we cared about community?

I do.

I really miss it.

When did it become a crime to be a Pagan? Even among other Pagans?

What sort of insinuation do we have here????

I don't typically do this sort of thing, but this is just ridiculous!

This is a link to Mr. A. J. Drew's latest blog about Gavin and Yvonne attending a thing called the Samhain Spirit Festival Fireheart in Toledo, Ohio, put on by the Spiritweavers group of that area. So far, he's tried to claim that the Frosts are responsible for omitting from the Spiritweavers' website anyone else as featured speakers and also making the event a "members only" gathering. Now he's saying this:

"Stranger still is the note on the registration site that kids between the ages of 11 and 17 get in for 50% off the cover price. Not a mention of 50% off with paid parent or legal guardian ticket. Just 50% off to any child between the ages of 11 and 17."

What the hell does that have to do with ANYthing? Is he now trying to imply that the Spiritweavers are recruiting children for the Frosts to prey upon? Can you say "libel suit?"

I hope this man and his wife are very proud of the work they are doing. It's now becoming a case of not being able to say or do anything because it might be misconstrued by someone who is desperately looking for any excuse to hurl accusations. Dear god, don't leave out a word! Let's not make the assumption that we might be smart enough to think for ourselves and understand that children are to be accompanied by a parent. No, let's make it sound like it's nothing more than a group of depraved letches trying to get their hands on the children. Yeah, that'll be cool!

It's like we've got our very own Pagan Big Brother. See, Paganism can be mainstream. Aren't we proud?

What I've learned about Drew and the Frosts

I've learned that no matter what I or anyone else has to say, Mr. Drew and his people are going to believe what they want. They will continue to pick at this and find other reasons to go after the Frosts. My understanding of this whole attack was that Mr. Drew believed children had been sexually molested in the Seventies at the hands of the Frosts and at the hands of their followers. His direction has since changed to something else and he has started nitpicking at events from thirty and forty years ago that really don't have anything to do with the original charges of child molestation. He is now claiming that by writing the original offending passage, they are promoting sexual abuse and child molestation in that manner. I understand the Frosts presented the original passage as an historical reference. Mr. Drew claims that's a lie.

Quite frankly, I don't care to get caught up in the semantics of who wrote what in what context and whether or not it's really historical or not. If people really want to get into that, may I suggest a book called "Steal This Book!" by Abbie Hoffman or "The Anarchist Cookbook," by William Powell. I can also find a book on how to identify and execute Witches. All of these books offer suggestions and instructions that, if people were to follow, all hell would break loose. Fortunately, the majority of people in our country have the ability to read something and think for themselves! They can make their own decisions as to whether or not they want to break the law, and believe me, these books are chock full of information on how to break the law.

One of things I find most fascinating about all of this is that if you were to ask most Wiccans and Pagans what their opinions are of the Frosts, they would respond with, "who?" Those that have read their books don't care for them. Quite frankly, I don't either. I've tried to read a couple of them, and wow -- it's sensationalist and archaic.

Oh, yeah, that's something I caught yesterday on all the blogs and crap. Mr. Drew has accused the Frosts of using all this sensationalism to sell their books. If I'm not mistaken, didn't Mr. Drew start all this crap in the first place? If he had never decided to wage this little campaign and sacrifice effigies (or whatever the hell it is he's doing - I've heard several different things now), Gavin and Yvonne would be living the quiet life of a retired couple inWest Virginia. Instead, they have found themselves traveling all over the country yet again. Kinda crazy.

And even though I've come to accept that it does no good for me to reiterate what I know and what I've experienced at the hands of the Frosts and my parents, let me say it again -- I was never molested sexually by the Frosts or my parents (their students) at any time. I was never involved in any ritual that included dildos. I don't know of anyone that was ever molested. The children weren't even allowed to participate in ritual. And I lost my virginity the old-fashioned way - with a guy I was dating in high school.

So go ahead and call me "stupid." This whole ordeal has taught me a lot about the kind of people there are claiming to be Pagans. Evidently, even Pagans are incapable of growing and learning at some point. We are no better than Christians. We put on blinders and follow our own dogma, come hell or high water. Facts don't matter if it's not what we want to hear. It pains me to see so much of Christianity influencing our once liberating spirituality.

If I were smart enough, I'd write my own damn book. Ah, but I don't know anyone at Llewellyn. Bleh.

Wow

I am so disappointed. No one has asked me about my history with the Frosts. Am I not important enough? I've got tons of history I can share. Could it be that I don't have the sordid details some are hoping for? Could it be that I only have dull details of day to day normal life that no one wants to know about? Could it be that no one really wants the truth? Well, not necessarily. I'm doing an interview next week about my life with the Frosts on Pure Pagan Radio. Will that clear things up? Probably not. Some people will only believe what they choose. But I can say, without a doubt, that I do know some things that others choose not to hear. So, . . . you can hear me and know the truth or continue to get caught up in the hysteria.