learning to grow

My last note on Drew

2010-01-19T09:43:00.001-06:00

Gee, who didn't see this coming?

Former Pagan author AJ Drew has apparently converted to Catholicism, and is in the midst of an ugly custody battle with his wife, who he is accusing of ongoing domestic (and possibly sexual) abuse. Here’s the relevant quote concerning his current religious status.

“I think it is fairly clear that religious discrimination can be added to sexual discrimination. In court, as if this were the 16th century, I have been accused of being a Witch. This either because several years ago I wrote some New Age titles or because today I am a practicing Catholic. I can not be sure why they are so concerned with my religious preferences, but the supervisor demanded that I tell her my religious preferences in court while she was testifying against my sanity. It was as if she felt all Catholics or members of other religions to which she does not subscribe are insane.”

(From "The Wild Hunt.")

You can find more information here.

When life happens in a bad way

2009-09-06T01:07:00.003-05:00

I realize I have been very lax lately in writing here, but I have been dealing with a lot of personal issues - being laid off again (second time in a year), hardcore depression, stuff like that there. But today, something happened that is making me really take a very hard long look at my life.

I have been surrounded by death for a very long time. My best friend from Texas was killed in a hotel fire sixteen years ago, and that started a bizarre cascade of suicides and murders that have left me very jaded. However, today I am faced with something that shakes me to my very core. My friend Steve had a brain aneurysm today at 12:30. It's one of those weird things that has no rhyme or reason, and despite his health issues, this had nothing to do with any of them. He survived the crucial first few hours and he is currently heavily sedated in a neuro-trauma ICU at St. John's. I've done some research, and it is possible to return to a normal life after such an event, but it takes a lot of time and effort on everyone's part.

Steve and his wife Robin, as well as all the kids, are family. I have known them for more years than I care to say - the older kids consider me their third mom, after their real mom and their step-mom Robin. The two youngest are especially precious to me (if you know me, then you know why!) and Heather just turned five, so they are quite young still.

Maybe the thing that is bothering me the most is that Steve is six months younger than me. There are three of us that are damn near the same age - me, Steve and Sylvanus. Sylvanus is a month older than me and Steve is the youngest of us, but we are all Fire Horses according to Chinese astrology and we are all most assuredly part of Generation X. We are all close friends, despite any arguments and disagreements we've had over the years. Steve has had some fairly major health issues and he is still dealing with diabetes, but this - this is one of those random unknowns that no one can ever expect.

So - I anticipate being very busy for the next few months, maybe years, I don't know. Whatever it takes, I'm gonna be there. These people are my family. I love them, and I will be there for them, no matter what. My past embarrassments don't matter anymore. They are dear to me.

Sometimes growing is painful

2009-02-13T13:16:00.000-06:00

I’ve come to the conclusion that there is not so much wrong with this community as there is something wrong with my current approach to all things Pagan. There is a thriving community here in our town, groups of people that meet on a regular business and work together on a regular basis – but they don’t want to work with Greenleaf. They have goals and ideas, things they’d like to see get accomplished in this area – but not by Greenleaf.

I believe that Greenleaf’s time has come and gone. We have done so much and I would like to believe that we have accomplished huge strides in helping Pagans and Wiccans become at least a little more accepted within our community. We have met so many wonderful and valuable people over the years, and I have been fortunate to maintain friendships with a good number of them.

There was a time when I thought I would be able to take over Greenleaf Coven. However, I’ve come to the realization that it won’t be possible. The reason for that is because I don’t believe anyone will ever be able to accept me as HPS of Greenleaf. That’s because I’m not – it will always be Pat.

The final decision, of course, is up to the High Priest and High Priestess of Greenleaf Coven. I know in the past they have discussed the possibility of stepping down and letting others handle Sabbats and rituals. Some of us have stepped up and done just that, but none of us will ever be able to fill their shoes completely.
If Greenleaf were to be dissolved, we would of course continue our projects such as “The Pagan Show” and Pagans in the Park. I would certainly hate to see any of those go by the wayside. My hope is that the Pagan community at large would be more receptive to working with those of us within Greenleaf if we no longer carried that tag around. I would like to see it as a fresh start for some, maybe even the whole area.

Time for thoughts and revelations

2008-12-03T06:10:00.002-06:00

I'm only about half awake, and have had very little coffee, but here goes:

My kids are nearly grown now. My oldest will be eighteen in January, and my youngest will be sixteen in May. I've been pretty much relegated to the roll of maid and ATM, but at least they do still talk to me from time to time and tell me about their days at school and how their band is progressing (rockin', by the way!) So it's time for me to quit fiddle-farting around and do those things I want to do. After all, I'm not getting younger, and the further I progress into my forties, the more I realize time is getting away from me and I have yet to do even a fraction of what I hope to accomplish.

A new non-profit is being organized with an eye towards obtaining a building. I've decided that even if this doesn't happen in its current state, I will find a way to make it happen. As Pagans, we deserve just as much as any other religion. I'm starting to see a definite goal and a way to reach it.

There's much else, but I must go and work within the mundane world for a bit.

2008-11-19T21:11:00.001-06:00

There is something rather strange going on.

Besides being Pagan, I'm also a musician. I play bass guitar and do some back-up singing in a couple of different bands. My brother and my children, along with many of their friends, are also musicians. Something we noticed a couple of years ago was that the entire music community for our city seemed to splinter pretty badly. There were several factors - the city had decided that anyone under the age of eighteen was not allowed to enter a business whose primary source of income was from alcohol, and that stopped about half of the local bands from being able to play gigs anymore. About the same time, several of the more popular local acts headed out west to try and get that "big break," - they all came back home, wiser and probably a little more jaded (if you're wondering who they were, it was Pillbox, happyendings, and Someone Still Loves You, Boris Yeltsin. SSLYBY is still out there, working hard to make a name for themselves).

Well, yesterday in my daily cruising of the 'net, I ran across a series of posts on one of the local boards about band ettiquette. Besides being a really good discussion about what's expected when you play a gig, it was civil and somewhat reminescent of "the good ol' days," which are approximately five to ten years ago. I thought, "how odd - pretty much the same time our Pagan community started drifting apart."

That's got me wondering now. Was the whole "splintering" effect a city-wide phemomenon? Maybe across the nation? What happened in that time frame that would have caused an entire region to start backing away from each other, no matter what their affilliation?According to people who study these things, there are two occurrences that bring people together - a common enemy or a common goal. I know in the past when the Pagan community has had the ability to focus on a common goal, we have achieved great things. I know that focusing on a common enemy brings a lot of anger and discourse into a group, and while it may unite people for a short time, eventually all that anger starts getting turned into the group, and that's never a good thing. So here's my theory:

I believe that the events that occurred on 9/11 created an atmosphere of "us against them." War mongers and demagogues have been riding that wave for the last seven years. We as a nation are getting really tired of feeling like we have to be on guard all the time and angry with the world. For crying out loud, we all have to live here - we might as well get along with each other! Anyway, every medical study in the world can tell you that living under large amounts of stress on a constant basis is bad for your health. I think we've finally begun to realize that and slowly - VERY slowly - we are starting to come back together, not just as one group or another, but as people seeking other people's company and support. We're tired of being alone. We're tired of looking for the boogey man behind every corner.

If we can reunite under a common goal (not succumbing to the horrendous economy and surviving these hard times) and rise above the hate-mongering, I believe we will be a stronger people for it. Not just as a community, but as a nation as well.

It's time, folks.

Thoughts on the election

2008-11-05T21:36:00.002-06:00

Yesterday was a rather momentous day - no matter who you were voting for. Granted, I am a "tree-hugging liberal," and yes, my candidate won, but either way, we were going to see history made. But now that it's over, it's time to get down to the real work at hand.

We all know our nation has been splintered for years by the whole "we're right, you're wrong" mentality that's been permeating not only our government, but our communities. I've seen in our own backyard, within the Pagan community. How sad is that? Here we are, supposedly standing up for each other and trying to protect our family, our friends, our neighbors from the attacks we've faced for years, and we've been so busy telling each other how wrong we are that we've lost most of our cohesion. Why are we doing this? Have we become so complacent that we just don't care about community anymore? Can we truly afford to be so divided?

I'm thinking "no," folks.

If anything, these past few years would have been a really good time for us to pull together and show true unity, not turn on each other and try to prove how superior this bunch is compared to that bunch. I know, I know, there are quite a few places in the world where there hasn't been any in-fighting and their sense of community is stronger now that it ever was, but all I've got to deal with is my own little corner of the world right now. If you are a p and live in the Southwest corner of Missouri, then you know it's not exactly all warm and fuzzy around here, and that's coming from our own people.

For the past couple of years, I've been trying to think of some way to see this part of world come back together like it used to be. Is that possible, or are we screwed? Have we destroyed our respect for each other so much that we will never be able to see a sense of community like we used to? I'd like to think we are more mature than that.There are some fresh faces locally, folks that have been seeking, but have not found their path yet. Folks that want to be a part of the greater good. That gives me a great deal of hope. I am actually seeing movement forward. It's been a long time coming, and I'm glad to see it's finally happening.

The next step is going to be getting those of us that have been around for a while to stand up and be willing to help guide these new people. I know, times have been tough lately, but we are seeing the dawn of a new day and I don't want to get left behind, stuck in the same ruts we've been in for that last few years. I know that I can feel hope again. I can see possibility again. We need to move forward and capture some of this momentum for ourselves.I am also seeing a change for Pagans and Wiccans in general. For many, many years we have taught and worshipped in a rather haphazard manner, each of us doing our own thing and not being concerned with it. That's fine - I honestly have no problem with that - but I also believe that it will be our demise if we continue to ignore the fact that we are growing, and sometimes it's good to have a little organization.

Yes, that's right! I said it! ORGANIZATION!!!

Seriously, though, if you look at some of the bigger groups across the country, how do you think they got where they are? Circle Sanctuary, Aquarian Tabernacle, Reclaiming - it didn't "just happen." They put effort into creating what they have, and I believe that if the Pagans in this area want to see something similar, we are going to have to put forth the effort with more than just lip service. We have a lot of intelligent and talented people around here - I don't want to see that go to waste.

So - let's do this. It's a new day - Carpe Diem!

Playing Catch-up

2008-08-11T05:55:00.000-05:00

I have been lax in my writings as of late.

It's been a rough few months. I lost my job and I'm just now getting to a point again where I can say I'm getting back on my feet. No sooner did I lose my job then I found out a young man I had dated for a couple of years had decided to take his own life. That was - tough. He was young and pretty, and he had a daughter that at one time I believed gave him hope for his future.

I thought that would be the end of my bad news, but this morning I have learned that yet another friend has developed a potentially debilitating disease - counting my father, that makes four people in the last year that I know who have either developed or are on the verge of developing diabetes. Two of those people are younger than me.

I feel I have spent entirely too much time sitting idly by while my friends die or commit gruesome crimes or become horribly ill. What the hell is going on? It's almost as if our entire Pagan community has been cursed, and we are all doomed. I cannot help but feel there is something very wrong with all of this. We need to do something. We need to quit walking around with our noses in the air, pretending we don't see each other and get everyone going in a good direction. But I feel so powerless to do anything. I have zero support from the people around me. Something has to be done, though. Somehow, . . . .

The Difference Between Charity and Hypocrisy

2008-05-16T07:56:00.003-05:00

I live in a mobile home park. It's a nice one, outside of town, quiet, in a great school district. Within a one-mile radius of my home are four different churches - one Baptist, one Church of Christ and two Assemblies of God. Three of the four churches are in the middle of or have just finished expanding. Jesus is booming, folks.

For the most part, I have no problem with living in the midst of these churches, except for one. These people irritate the living crap out of me, and for a variety of reasons.

First off, this church has gotten so big so fast that they have three services on Sunday morning. They have mounted an outdoor PA system in their parking lot, and anytime they have services, they play Christian music through the PA. Eight o'clock service? Time to play music! And that wouldn't be so bad except that it's loud enough to hear at my house at eight o'clock in the morning on a Sunday.

Second, the traffic on our little country road has increased significantly. Now typically on a Sunday, I don't care so much. But on Wednesday nights, it's insane. And of course, they do all sorts of special events for the kids on Saturdays, and there's Bible camp in the summer, and all manner of other things they do that I have no clue what they are or why they are clogging up my road!

Anyway, that's all fairly insignificant. It probably wouldn't bother me so much if it wasn't for their egotistical practice of advertising every time they do a big charity project. I mean, I always thought that charity was working for the sake of others, not making yourself look good. And these people are the worst about it. Every time they go out and do something to help underpriviledged kids or the elderly or a food bank, they make sure to contact the local news so they can show everyone what great people they are. It would help if the local news would quit covering this crap, but if it's a slow day, hey, what are you gonna do?

This particular church has been bugging for a while, but this latest thing made me even angrier, because I know it's going to make the news tomorrow, and it's going to create havoc on one of our major city streets, too. See, they've decided to sponsor a gas station here in town and sell gas cheaper than what it's been going for. And while I understand advertising something like is necessary, I might not have been so irritated if the first line did NOT say "Northpoint Helps!" It's as if the church wouldn't have been doing this if the gas station hadn't put that up.

But then, in my experiences, Northpoint doesn't help at all. When my neighbor's house burned down, did anyone from Northpoint come over to help clean up or see if there was anything they could do? During the ice storms, did anyone from Northpoint come over - to their neighbors! - and see if everyone was alright? When there are threats of tornados, do they open their doors and let those of us in the mobile home park take shelter?

NO!

But for the record, none of the churches bothered to do any of that, either.

Charity, my ass.

The Seventh Incarnation of the Mother

2008-04-30T09:37:00.003-05:00

There is currently a series on the Science Channel that is exploring the birth, life, death and rebirth of our planet, as well as the emergence of life during these times. According what scientists have been able to determine, the cycle goes like this:

Earth is hit by an asteroid that creates a catastrophic chain reaction. First, everything is super-heated and essentially sterilized by fire. Then, a cooling begins, creating what becomes a giant snowball in space. Eventually the ice begins to melt and forms of life begin to appear. Plants grow, animals evolve and all is happy for a few million years. Until Earth is hit again.

This has happened six times.

According to what the scientists can figure out, each time the Earth dies and is reborn, life returns as well. That would mean the Earth manages to keep the keys to creating life deep within Herself, even though the surface has been cleansed by fire and ice.

The Earth truly is our Mother.

And now we have scientific proof!

On another subject, I would like for everyone out there to think about this for a minute - why are you a Pagan? Why do you stand beneath the moon and call to the God and Goddess? What is it about this spirituality that "does it" for you?

I have recently been on a very intimate quest to understand - for myself - the reasons for being Pagan. I know that I chose this path when I was younger because I felt this was the best way to honor the Mother and the Father and to celebrate my own life as a child of the Gods. But recently, it seems I've forgotten that. I started worrying about what other people might think if I actually enjoyed myself in public and had a good time wherever I was. I got so wrapped up in the "what will they think" mentality that I forgot to be myself and became very depressed.

Then one day, my friend Nova pointed me to this strange person who was also incredibly wrapped up in the "what will they think" mentality. I spent countless hours looking over this person's blogs and writings, and determined this person was some sort of fundamentalist nutcase, too busy casting stones at others to pay much attention to his own household. Yeah, you know, . . .

Anyway, I realized I was in danger of becoming just like that. No fun in that! So for the past few months I've been doing a lot of introspection and self-examination. I feel like I owe all of my friends and family a huge apology for becoming a lame-ass drag.

And with that, I would just like to say that changes can be expected! Beltane is coming up very quickly, and I'm glad to say that this year's celebration will indeed be a celebration!

I am a Child of Gods, divine and divinely inspired.

The Purpose of Religion

2008-04-15T09:05:00.002-05:00

I have recently found myself wondering why religion is so important to people. If you follow a Christian ideology, then there are the threats of damnation and the promise of an everlasting life filled with bliss and happiness. I believe all the book religions make a promise of eternal life and joy. I've seen many indigenous religions that feel the need to appease the Gods so there is less pain and strife, but is there a reward for them at the end of their lives? Generally, there is reincarnation into a life that is easier as reward for those that have lived a good life, and something harsher for those that did not.

But what of the Pagan? We believe in Gods and Goddesses and we believe in reincarnation. Is there a reward for us at the end of our lives? If we live a good life, if we are kind to others and do what we can to help our fellow human, what happens when we die?

I was taught early on that as we reincarnate through all our lives, we accumulate knowledge which is then taken back to the source that is God. As I've gotten older, I've run into a problem with that - why would God need that knowledge if God created all that we are? So that belief changed into this: we need the experiences so WE can grow and become more compassionate, which in turn is supposed to bring us closer to understanding what it means to be as God/dess. But then I started seeing all these natural disasters and wars, and it seemed as if God/dess had lost all sense of compassion. And I lost all faith.

I believe there is God/dess. I don't believe any of us really know what God/dess is, but I do believe in the existence of Deity. I don't know if all of our bowing and scraping is really necessary to them. It is necessary for us, because we need to know we can connect to Deity in some way, and we need to know they hear us. But do the Gods need us? Do the Gods need our worship and prayer?

"You have no need of prayer, yet we offer these, our prayers.
You have no need for worship, yet we worship you here.
You have no need for sacrifice, yet we offer you sacrifice."

So what's the point?

Some religions would have us believe our immorality is what's creating all these natural disasters and wars. I believe it's man's inhumanity to man - "my dick's bigger than your dick" syndrome. Rather than reaching out to our brothers and sisters and trying to make this a place where we can live in peace, we are creating our own hell on Earth by poisoning the waters and the atmosphere and trying to kill each other. Sadly, much of it has been (and is still being) done in the name of religion. One group of people does not worship like another group of people, so the first group is blasphemous and must be punished. There are so many different kinds of people on this planet, yet we cannot celebrate our differences - we must pound the shit out of anybody that's even slightly different.

Maybe the point of being a Pagan is to learn tolerance and compassion. Historically speaking, the Gods and Goddesses of my ancestors weren't exactly kind individuals - they were warriors and kings and queens, but I believe even Gods and Goddesses learn over time. They may not walk the Earth with us in physical form, but they are here, and - I believe - they do hear us. It's not just elementals or Earth energy or beings from different planes of existence. They are Gods and Goddesses and they are a part of who and what we are. We should honor them and respect them, not because we have to or because we're afraid of them, but simply because they are. Just as we are one with the Earth, we are one with the Gods.

Sometimes I forget.

Getting rid of the Poor?

2008-03-25T08:03:00.002-05:00

I'm sure you've noticed the price of groceries going up over the past year. For me, it's getting harder and harder to feed my family - I currently have three teenagers in my home, as well as my husband and myself. Well, last night, this little story caught my eye. Seems higher food prices have become a global issue, and it's really got me wondering, . . . .

In the past couple of years, it's become very evident there are two classes of people in this world - the rich and everyone else. We've all heard how ten percent of the population control ninety percent of the wealth or something like that. Now that the rest of us can barely afford food, what happens next? Do we start living in caves, slowly starving to death, because we can't afford our homes anymore? No so much a problem for me, maybe, but what is going on in the larger cities, like New York or Houston? There are people in those areas that have never seen a cow, have no clue about gardening, don't know how to butcher a chicken or even start a fire. What happens to them?

I'm not saying situations will ever get so bad that we end up resorting to anarchy, but in my adult life I have to say I've never really considered it a real possibility before. People are being killed in food riots in industrialized nations because there's not enough to go around. That's a little scary. Basic commodities like wheat and dairy are becoming scarcer. No one really seems to have an answer for it, thus my suspicion.

For myself and my family, I've taken a second job to help make ends meet. We'll be planting a garden this year and eating a lot of fresh veggies. Hey, not only will we save money, we'll be a lot healthier!!!

I Haven't Fallen Off the Face of the Planet

2008-02-28T11:25:00.002-06:00

I owe an apology to anyone that actually reads this blog on any sort of regular basis. February has been a tough month for me mentally.

I have clinical depression, and it kicked my ass this month. I'm not offering this as an excuse - I've been living with this for most of my life, and ordinarily I can function at least halfway reasonably. But there's been very little sunlight lately, and I imagine that has had something to do with it. That compounded with some personal issues has just made my life feel even harder than normal.

For instance, I thought getting my income tax refund and getting everything caught up would help. Not so much. I thought getting a scooter would cheer me up. It has somewhat, but not like I had hoped.

I know one of the things that's really eating at me is the loss of my friends. Some dying, others deciding they're pissed at me and cutting off all communication - what the hell? What did I do?

The only thing I know for sure is some of this stems from an incident last year in which I felt like a pariah to everyone I know. I secluded myself for several months and didn't really talk with anyone because it was brought to my attention that I'm not as nice a person as I would like to think and I have caused the people I care about more pain that I was aware. I figured there was no reason to inflict myself upon anyone, and spent a lot of time in a rather dark place. I had hoped the people that have dumped me would be at least a little understanding, but evidently there was more to it than I thought. And now I have very few people that still want to talk with me or hang out with me. Perhaps I'm still a pariah.

Anyway, I'm hoping that this darkness will lift soon. Riding the scooter exposes me to a lot more sunlight, and I know that will help. I will work to make sure there are more entries on here as well.

Blessed Be, Gene

2008-02-01T11:11:00.000-06:00

Well, we’ve lost another friend. Gene Lynch passed away Wednesday morning. This was not entirely unexpected as he had been in poor health for some years, but it’s never something you really anticipate. You’re never really prepared when you get the news.

Gene was a character. He came to our Wicca 101 classes to study and learn, and he even initiated after his studies. I was proud of that. He was a retired Navy man, a former Boy Scout leader, author of several books geared towards camping and an opinionated loudmouth. Believe me, if you knew Gene then you know he would appreciate that!

He always astonished me with his tenacity. There were times when I thought, “well, he’s too sick now and he won’t make it to such-and-such event,” but I’ll be damned if he didn’t show up anyway. If he wanted to do something, he did it. He wasn’t going to just lie down and die, despite the diabetes and leukemia or even the amputations. He lived his life for as long as he was able.

Towards the end, I know things got bad for his family. He wasn’t able to recognize his friends anymore, and he became difficult for his wife to care for. We knew that when she finally agreed to hospice care, it wouldn’t be much longer. I also knew that Gene wouldn’t have wanted us to remember him as being sick, so out of respect for him and his family, we offered to help where we could, but didn’t push matters.

I’ve lost two friends in the space of a month and a half. It bothers me because neither of these men was at an age one would consider “old.” I don’t feel they had the opportunities to live completed lives. It has really caused me to take a very hard look at my life and decide whether or not I’m living a life that will be considered “complete” when I reach the end. Am I living for me or for someone else? Am I taking care of my own happiness or have I pushed it aside?

It’s been nearly fourteen years since I lost a very close friend from high school. I just about lost my mind when he died. I’m older and more mature now, but I still feel the effects of losing these two men now in such a short amount of time.
To hell with living a safe life

Writing the passing over

2008-01-27T12:19:00.000-06:00

Ok, I had promised to post this up a couple of weeks ago, but I've been putting it off. I know, I know - bad Pagan, . . . .

Anyway, here is what I wrote for Raven's passing over. We didn't do a circle because this wasn't a ritual. It was a passing over, a memorial for our friend. I had white roses and white candles on the altar, and I had everyone light one candle and if they wanted, they could talk about Raven for a moment.

Here's the written text:

To the East, we celebrate the joy Raven brought into our lives. He always had a smile and a hug for us. He had no enemies among us.

To the South, we celebrate the passion with which Raven lived his life and the love he gave to those around him. He never asked or expected a return, but we couldn’t help but love him back.

To the West, we acknowledge that Raven kept secrets. There was pain in his life, but it was his to share or not, and most often he chose not to burden us with it.

To the North we celebrate the hugeness of Raven’s heart. He was proud to be who he was and expressed his individuality at every opportunity.

Below us, the Earth, which has accepted Raven’s body back into her bosom.

Above us, the Sky, which gives Raven’s spirit freedom to soar.

Within and without, there is Spirit - eternal and without limit. Raven will be with us always.

Until we meet again on the Other Side, peace be with you, Raven. Blessed be.

Westboro Baptist Strikes Again

2008-01-24T08:46:00.000-06:00

Are you familiar with Westboro Baptist? They have a delightful website called "God Hates Fags." Fair warning - if it doesn't take much conservative right-wing garbage to piss you off, then you do not want to go there!

This "church" was founded by Fred Phelps, and anyone that's ever read his bio can tell he's a closet case. Somehow, in his warped and twisted little mind, he decided that since he can't come to terms with his own sexuality, then all things even remotely gay must be evil. He and his congregation (which mostly consists of his family members) started out protesting the funerals of any openly gay people they could find, carrying signs that say "God Hates Fags," and "Burn In Hell." Real loving, right? Then they started protesting the funerals of soldiers killed in action over in Iraq and Afganistan, saying their deaths were God's punishment on the United States because the U.S. has allowed such a moral decline within our country - things like civil unions and same-sex marriages. After all, the only reason for marriage is to procreate. Couldn't possibly be for anything like, oh, government reasons - insurance, lower taxes, better chances for credit - or maybe just love.

Anyway, now Mr Phelps' congregation, which is now led by his daughter, has decided to protest the memorial service of Heath Ledger because of his role in "Brokeback Mountain." It makes me so angry I could spit nails! Any opportunity to keep pushing their screwed-up agenda, get publicity and condemn those around them - these people are sick.

Please understand, I'm not a huge Heath Ledger fan. I have grudgingly admitted that, yes, he was a talented actor, but I just couldn't get past "A Knight's Tale." Bleh. However, I've been following Westboro Baptist for many years, and these people are not only delusional and extremely narrow-minded, I believe they have the potential to be dangerous. All it takes is one nut-job lunatic to decide that yes, this is the right thing to do, and then take a few automatic weapons to a protest so they can wipe out the evil of man all by themselves. I believe that it will happen.

When Fred Phelps dies, I'm going to his funeral.

Hillary Clinton and the Curse of Being a Woman

2008-01-10T10:05:00.000-06:00

Oooh, two posts in one day!

Yesterday, the results of the New Hampshire primaries were released. The winners were John McCain for the Republicans and Hillary Clinton for the Democrats.

I tend to vote Democrat. I am at heart an anarchist, and I get pretty pissed at anyone that tries to tell me how I should be living and worshipping. At least with Dems I feel I can be myself and not worry about a lynch mob showing up in my yard one day. And yes, I know there are other political parties in this country, but let’s face it – we are pretty much stuck with the lesser of two evils when it comes to politicians.

Anyway, when it comes to policy, I don’t really care for Clinton’s stand on a lot of different issues. I think it’s awesome that she’s running for president, but I’m not going to make my decision based on gender, race, religion, etc. I want to know that our next president will be able to restore our rights and make friends with the rest of the world again.

I would hope that the rest of this country would also make their votes based on how their candidate addresses issues that concern them. I would hope that, as a country, we are able to see past gender and race, and be able to truly focus on what’s important to all of us, not just the top ten percent of rich fat cats. I would hope that we would be happy to see a human side to any and all candidates and not instantly assumed it was staged.

You see, the night before the primaries in New Hampshire, Clinton got a little emotional. It happens. Immediately, every right-wing conservative that could get to a blog or a news outlet accused her of setting it up, staging her tears, acting her way through a meeting. After the final results of the primaries came out, the accusations got worse. Oh, she acted like she really cared, just so she could win. Oh, she’s playing on people’s feelings, pretending like she’s really human, just like everyone else. And according to some, it’s the only reason she won the primaries.

Why? Because she’s a woman?

For the first time in a very long time, I feel compelled to say something about treating someone differently because of gender. So she got a little teary-eyed. So what? She’s certainly not the first candidate to get a little emotional during their campaign, but I do believe she may be the first to be accused of attempting to garner sympathy that way. Is it because people think she’s so cold? Or is she supposed to be stronger than anyone else?

Funny thing about strong women – they are often personified as “bitches,” “ball-busters,” and yes, even cold. It’s ok for a guy to be strong and show little emotion in the face of a stressful situation, but a woman – well, there’s something wrong with her if she’s strong with little emotion. But then, if she breaks down into tears, she’s weak. So which is it?

What made me even angrier was a post I saw from another Pagan woman saying that Clinton must have been acting and that was how she won the New Hampshire primaries. It’s not that I think all Pagan women should be supporting Clinton, but don’t you think we should at least be giving her the benefit of the doubt? Pagan women are supposed to be strong women. I know I’ve been accused of being cold and harsh, and I know what it’s like to stand in the spotlight and have people say horrible things about me. So if another woman comes under attack for being human, I have to come to her defense.

Here’s a great article by Erica Jong about Clinton and the N. H. primaries. I thought it was a good observation of the whole thing. I invite you to read it, think about it, and truly look into your soul and decide if sexism will be a factor in this presidential election and how much it affects your own decisions. Not just for president, but in all aspects of your life.

We're alive!

2008-01-10T10:01:00.000-06:00

Well! Here it is, January, and evidently it’s time for yet another natural disaster. This time we had tornadoes. Yay! Monday night, we spent several hours over at my mother’s house, just in case all hell decided to break loose and destroy my little box-on-wheels. Thankfully, we had no damage, nor did my mother. There was, however, damage from tornadoes all around us to the west, south and east. I believe that areas to the north did not receive any damage. There are great pics of the local Lowe’s store with large twisted pieces of metal in the front and we also learned that the raceway by the airport was torn up. All locations that are pretty durn close to us and enough to scare me pretty good! I tend to think that because our home is in a depression we have a little more protection.

My boys asked what would be in store for next year. Earthquake, maybe? We are past due.
So yes, if you saw it on national news, my family and I were in the big middle of the whole thing. Funny how Springfield never makes the news unless there’s a natural disaster. You know, tornadoes, . . . ice storms, . . . Brad Pitt, . . . .

Happy New Year, and some bits and pieces

2008-01-03T08:44:00.000-06:00

Ok, I haven’t been doing much of anything lately, and I apologize for not keeping up with my entries here. Holidays, family, blah, blah, blah.

We are holding a formal passing-over ritual for my friend Raven on January 8th in the mouth of a cave. It’ll be dark of the moon, and the cave is a great place for death and rebirth. I did edit some film from when we held our wake for Raven and I plan on getting that online in the next couple of days.

There’s a fantastic entry over at The Wild Hunt concerning Paganism and sermons. There’s been several discussions everywhere lately about the “watering down” of Paganism, and the idea of what I’ve considered congregational Paganism – one person stands up in front of everyone else and pretty much does all the talking and any performing of ritual that might occur, although the trend in recent years seems to be less ritual and more lecturing. Granted, if you’re not Wiccan or even necessarily Pagan, then it’s not going to affect you unless you are looking to get away from that sheep-type mentality of “this is how I think and this is how you should think, too.” But a big part of the appeal of Paganism for me has always been being able to think for oneself without having another’s dogma shoved down one’s throat.

Finally, I’d just like to say I hate the post office. I went to buy a stamp last night – one flippin’ stamp! – and I found it nearly impossible to do so. At one time, there were at least six machines in the lobby of the post office in which you could drop coins and they would spit out a stamp at you. Last night, there were only three machines in the lobby – one was turned off, one was malfunctioning, and the third one did not take real money, only credit cards. I looked at the line waiting to speak with actual postal employees, but it would have taken me at least half an hour to get up to the front of the line. I did not have half an hour.

I ended up buying my stamp at Dillon’s.

How ‘bout them modern conveniences???

Raven

2007-12-21T08:32:00.000-06:00

Yesterday, I found out that we lost a dear friend earlier this month. He had moved to Arkansas a couple of years ago, and our communication with him was a bit difficult since then. Evidently, he found out he had lung cancer in May, and even though we had spoken with him during the summer, he never mentioned it to us.

His real name was Roger, but he went by Raven. He was only a year younger than me, but he was like everybody's little brother. He was sweet, naive, and had only the best intentions. He was very gay, and all he ever wanted out of life was to be a house-wife. He was what you might call "goth" about ten years before it was a fashion. He loved The Cure, Nine Inch Nails and Marilyn Manson. He was kind of goofy looking, but it was part of his appeal. We even went to school together way back in the early eighties, and he always thought my brother and I were the coolest people ever.

Losing Raven is like losing a family member. He was like a little brother to me. When he moved to St. Louis for a couple of years, I worried like mad about him. I was afraid the city would chew him up and spit him out, because he was so trusting and kind (I had to go back remove the word "is," . . . .). He came back a little tougher, a little more cynical, but he was still our sweet little Roger. When he moved in with an older man, we became concerned about his new partner's controlling nature and we suspected Raven was being physically abused, but he didn't want to lose his partner. He was in love. It took some time, but he finally came to realize he deserved better, and love didn't mean total control.

His mother wasn't sure what to do about Raven. Here she was, a small-town Christian woman whose only son was a gay, black-wearing, techno-loving Witch. She still loved him, though, and when she moved to Arkansas, she asked him to move closer to her. He finally agreed to do so, and he and his new partner moved down, despite our attempts to get him to stay. He would call from time to time, and it was always good to hear from him. We've been missing his presence for some time. Knowing he'll never come back is painful. Wish I could quit crying.

We love you, baby. Fly free.

The Philosophy of Adam

2007-12-20T09:19:00.000-06:00

I have decided that Adam Savage of “Mythbusters” is the greatest philosophical mind of our time. My reasons are as follows:

In the opening of the show, he can be seen and heard stating, “I reject your reality and substitute my own!” If that isn’t controlling your own destiny, I don’t know what is!

He takes great joy in his work, creating experiments most of us only dream about trying. When it works, he is filled with joy and glee. When it goes wrong, he blows it up and revels in the explosion. Either way, it’s always great fun.

When he is competing with Jamie, he cheats. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn’t. Either way, he’s always having a good time.

His mind is always turning, coming up with new ways to try something or blow something up. Or screw with Jamie.

Of course, one must also consider the role of Jamie Hyneman in the philosophy of Adam. Jamie is what keeps Adam’s feet on the ground. He is cool logic, considering every step before he moves forward, where Adam rushes ahead without considering all possibilities – or probable outcomes. He makes sure Adam doesn’t get hurt when the experiments get a little hairy. And while Jamie may have better results at the end, there is little joy in his accomplishments.

They are yin and yang – pure, unadulterated bliss tempered with a bit of logic. They are a perfect model for today’s philosophy student!

If you are unfamiliar with “Mythbusters” or the work of Adam and Jamie, you should definitely check them out

Regarding my previous post

2007-12-17T07:10:00.000-06:00

"The Wild Hunt" has also posted up a blog here about the ongoing investigation into the SIGER scandal and the Witch that's been singled out during the government investigation. He cites a few more sources, and poses more questions about the investigation, asking whether or not this is a smear campaign on the part of someone in the office.

Someday I'll learn to not be so emotional when I post up news info!

The ONLY mention of Wicca in this article, . . . .

2007-12-14T07:11:00.000-06:00

. . . . has to do with the inappropriate actions of a woman that is part of the Special Inspector General's office that is supposed to be overseeing the efforts in Iraq. Story is here. Read the whole story. The woman in question is mentioned at the end of the article, and I really have to question the reason behind it.

First off, how does that have anything to do with the actions of the Special Inspector General's office and the way it's handling the funds and power needed to rebuild a country? Second, if she was already cleared in an internal investigation, why bring it up in a national story? And --- this is one of my biggest pet peeves --- "self-proclaimed???" I'm gonna start referring to Xians as "self-proclaimed."

Oh, and they didn't capitalize "Wiccan." Grrr!!!

Pedophilia in the name of religion

2007-12-05T07:42:00.001-06:00

This is what happens when children are forced to have sex in the name of religion.

How can anyone think that a child who was ritually molested would be able to walk around and act like a normal human being? How can anyone think there wouldn't be some sort of repercussion?

Why would anyone choose to mount a campaign of hate and slander against another without any sort of proof whatsoever? Why would someone want to drag up a book that hasn't been relevant to the Pagan world for at least twenty years and most people hadn't even heard of?

There is a huge difference between a few pages in one book talking about something that may or may not be a historical representation and actually creating and distributing literature with explicit details and promoting the act of having sex with children.

On another note, if an author were to write several books on Wicca, then decide one day they were no longer Wiccan, would that author then be required to pull all his books and rewrite them to reflect his new views? Should they remove passages from future printings and make a public statement declaring the "offending" passages null and void?

I'm just curious, ya know?

If you say it often enough, does that make it true?

2007-12-03T12:54:00.000-06:00

Fascinating stuff on "The Wild Hunt" today! If you've been following the ongoing saga between a certain Mr. Drew and the Frosts, then you need to read this.

It may be Australia, but I believe there's something to be learned from this.

Karma and the Law of Return

2007-12-02T15:32:00.000-06:00

The way I see karma is it’s supposed to be a life-debt that follows you from lifetime to lifetime, punishing you in some cases, lifting you up in others. The actions from a lifetime the time before last would have the power to dictate what happens to you in this lifetime. By this definition, the indication is that you would have no control over your life or the events that occur in your life. That would mean it didn’t matter what you did, because the outcome is already preordained. I can’t accept that.

The Law of Return says “everything you send out will return to you.” To me, that means EVERYthing you send out - how you live your life, what you say to people, how you treat your friends, your family, your pets, strangers, how you keep your house, how you handle your finances, how you view life in general. The Law of Return isn’t limited to just magical workings, just like the Gods aren’t limited to only being with us in ritual. And because you might have done some unfortunate things in your past, that doesn’t mean you will automatically be konked over the head for it. You do have a choice as to how you respond to the events in your life.
If something you consider bad happens to you, what is your response? Do you lie down and say, “oh, it’s karma. There’s nothing I can do about it.” Or do you pick yourself up, look at the situation and figure out what you can do to make the best of it? Maybe some events in our life are beyond our control (like my neighbor’s house burning down), but how we choose to respond to those events is what defines our lives.

Allowing events to control how we live is not living. If I let the past control my actions, then I am not in control of my own life. I am simply letting events push me around and control my responses. For some people, I supposed it’s ok to float down the stream like a leaf, letting the currents and eddies dictate their path, but I can’t be like that. If the Gods help those that help themselves, then I’m going to do everything in my power to make sure my family and I have fulfilling, happy lives.

Besides, if karma truly does dictate the events of my life, then it’s not going to matter what I do, anyway.

My last post was weird!

2007-11-29T08:33:00.000-06:00

I apologize for the rambling essence of that last post, but I've just had so much running through my head lately, it's a little hard to focus at times. Many, many things for me to learn about myself and my life.

I have learned that I have little patience for hypocrites.

I have learned that my past does not dictate who I am now.

I have learned that being nice isn't always the right thing to do.

I have learned that sometimes people do things without really thinking about the consequences, and sometimes those consequences can be devastating and long-lasting - and sometimes even hard to recognize.

I have learned that the Law of Return isn't what I thought it was, or even what a lot of people might think it is.

I have learned that my life is not necessarily a reflection of what some would consider karma.

I have learned why I have always had trouble with a Goddess-dominated religion. That doesn't mean I don't revere and love the Mother - it just means I don't understand many aspects. I still believe in harmony between God and Goddess.

I have learned that discovering the truth about yourself is very liberating and a little scary.

It's always darkest, . . .

2007-11-27T09:59:00.000-06:00

Actually, things are going pretty good. Hope everyone had a good Thanksgiving.

Most of my life I've been told, "growth is not easy." Well, why not? Who said we have to suffer in order to grow and learn anything? Gods know I'm tired of doing all that suffering, and I much prefer to be happy. This past year has really given me a lot of perspective as to what it takes to be happy and what constitutes "suffering." Let's recap, shall we?

The ice storm -- for some reason, most of the country didn't even know what was going on here in mid-January. It was a very small area affected, contained to Springfield and the surrounding towns, but it was devastating to us. We were without power and water for nearly two weeks during the coldest part of the winter, but it wasn't important enough for anyone else to know about. Our trees will never be the same - I've got one that I'm sure is going to die this winter, and I know the number that did die during the storm was unbelievable. I don't know anyone that didn't have damage or was affected in one way or another. But that's ok - it's not important.

Tornadoes -- this happens all the time. Good storm coming up? Probably gonna be a tornado. I can't sleep anymore if there's a storm because chances are we'll have to take shelter anyway.

The fire -- nearly four months after my neighbor's house burned to the ground, I still have trouble sleeping or leaving the house. What if? What if I wake up and OUR house is on fire? What if we leave for work and school, and it burns? After all, when our other neighbor's house burned down, I thought, "well, that won't ever happen again." How silly of me.

My job -- sometimes things work out in strange ways. I went through a few bad choices this year, but it's stabilized now, and I'm happy where I am. I hope to be here for many, many years.

So what does all that have to do with anything? Well, . . .

Yesterday my husband brings home a magazine for me to read and there's an article in it about this guy. The website is a little outdated, because in the magazine is a story about how he has become the first ever double-amputee to complete an Ironman competition. Wow. I can't even run a mile without wanting to die, and here this guy is running Ironmans with two prosthetic feet!

I suddenly realized that sitting around and feeling sorry for myself was accomplishing zilch. I have two good feet, two halfway good arms, and a damn good brain. So I'm on a quest!

And see, I knew this was coming. All the obstacles are being cleared away because I have something I need to do.

The ice storm convinced me we need to find a better home. Ditto for the nonstop tornadic activity.

If the fire hadn't happened, I would have never found out about the plans to build duplexes where we currently live.

If I hadn't decided to get the hell out of a bad job situation and be ok with bouncing around a bit, I never would have found my current position, which is so perfect for me and my job skills.

It's all just now starting to come together and make sense to me. I have a long way to go to figure out where I'm going, but I trust whatever this is.

And finally -- Nothing is more confusing than people who give good advice but set a bad example. -- Norman Vincent Peale

Do-gooders can become the worst cheats

2007-11-18T16:20:00.000-06:00

This is an article I found on MSNBC on people that believe they are "doing the right thing:"

"Morally upstanding people are the do-gooders of society, right? Actually, a new study finds that a sense of moral superiority can lead to unethical acts, such as cheating. In fact, some of the best do-gooders can become the worst cheats."

Rest of the article can be found here.

I think this is an important article for anyone to read, especially considering the number of "crusaders" that have been running around lately, calling for the downfall of some people and the grand idea that all Pagans should start following Christian ethics. There's just so much wrong with that line of thought, . . . .

Anyway, the article is based on a scientific study that's in the November issue of the Journal of Applied Psychology. They talk about an interesting line of thought in which the cheater believes the final outcome outweighs the current circumstances. That brings in a whole new bunch of info for the discussions over ethics and morals - if you do something right now that you know is wrong, yet you believe the final outcome will be good, is it alright to do the wrong thing? What if there was another way to achieve the goal? And who gets to decide what is ethically and morally correct, especially for all Pagans?

Learning from other Pagan Communities

2007-11-14T19:23:00.000-06:00

I was told about this group in Florida that has a couple of gathering a year. They are called Florida Pagan Gatherings, and their website is here. I’ve only been on their egroup for a few weeks, but I gotta say, I’m really impressed! There’s a large number of people that are involved with the conversations and they are discussing a large number of subjects right now, mostly with the success of their most recent gathering over Samhain. Their gatherings are good-sized, around 600 from what I understand, yet these people are able to have civil conversations about their work without throwing any nasty comments about individuals or other groups or anything like that.

Our Pagan community here in Springfield, MO isn’t what I’d call “huge” or anything like that, but it’s pretty good-sized. We’ve got several universities so our student population is pretty good and growing all the time. Unfortunately, we have had our fair share of in-fighting, name-calling, intolerance, etc., and because of that, we have lost some of the cohesion we once had. Slowly but surely, we are starting to pull back together. It’s a wonderful thing to see. I hope our future will look like the group in Florida one day.

I realize from time to time, Pagan communities do go through these changes. I do tend to think the reason for it is to give people a chance to back off and regroup with a clearer idea of who they are working with and what they can truly expect. Very often, Pagans come back to the community with new goals and new visions. Some people will leave the community permanently, but that can be for the better sometimes. Too many strong egos will only cause a greater rift in the fabric of the community.

I plan on picking the brains of the organizers from Florida. Whatever it is they’ve done, I think they’ve got the right idea. Can Pagan communities have sister cities? Hm!!!

"Change Places!"

2007-11-13T12:41:00.000-06:00

Ever feel like you're having tea with the Mad Hatter, right around the time he starts getting on a role?

We're a whole two weeks into the Celtic New Year, and wow, things have been moving so fast! We look to be moving shortly after the secular New Year, not because we planned it but because of the development of duplexes on the land we live on. Our car died on Friday, and it's going to cost more to fix than what the car is worth, so we are getting rid of it and my ex is currently working to find a better car for us. He has connections, and we get along pretty well these days. My oldest informed me last night that he's planning on going to prom in the spring, . . . .!!!! I'm very close to being done with the monthly payments for their band trip in the spring - that's been a real killer for us.

So what does this all mean? Well, as we have been celebrating the turning of the wheel this year, my focus has been on being able to let go of the things that have been holding me back from achieving my goals. My crappy house and my crappy car are now practically things of the past, my boys are growing up (much too fast for my taste!) and our financial situation is about to improve dramatically. There's also been one very personal issue I've been wrestling with that seems to be resolved, at least for now. All my little "buts" have been cleared out and there's a light at the end of my tunnel. Yeah, yeah, I know, it's really a train, . . . .

The Evil That is Humanity

2007-11-12T12:53:00.001-06:00

Here in our little corner of the world, there's been a murder that's making national news. The story from CNN is here. I was going to spend last weekend helping with the search, but they found her on Friday morning.

This is one of those things where you just stop and really think about those around you, especially people you think you can trust. What are we truly capable of doing? And don't just think about the people you "suspect" of being capable of evil - think about the people you really, truly trust.

It's quiet, . . . . too quiet, . . . .

2007-11-09T08:04:00.000-06:00

I have to admit, though, it's been refreshing to see all the hateful venom from last month disappear like it has. Oh, I know, I've seen all the declarations of "we will never stop!" in a couple of places, but honestly, after the non-event over Samhain I've been able to determine that hot air does not a cause make.

Some people will continue to try and stir the shit, no matter what. Some people need a hobby, and that would be their hobby. Some people are what my husband and I have decided to call "moonies," not to be confused with the Moonies of the Seventies who were (and still are, I suppose) followers of Reverend Moon and the Unification Church. Allow me to explain, because I know everyone knows these people, . . . .

People with noteriety, whether a movie star or a writer or something along those lines, will have people hanging around them all the time. The hangers-on will do everything in their power to get some sort of recognition or whatever from the famous person. Later, the hangers-on will go about telling everyone they know how so-and-so did this for them, or the hanger-on was able to do something for the famous person. The hanger-on then sees themselves as someone important, using the opportunity to bask in the glow of the famous person, like a moon does with a sun.

Example - a woman I used to know found out I had partied several times with a band here in town that actually achieved some fame in the eighties. Well, she started telling me how she was such great friends with the whole band, and she and the guitar player, well, they had a "special" friendship! We found out this band was going to be playing at a local club, so we decided to go. When we got there, I was just happy they remembered me from the party days. But when the guitar player saw this woman - I just don't know how to describe the look on his face. Like a trapped animal, maybe? Oh, yeah, he did know her - but not like she told me! Turns out her little story about their friendship was not quite reality, and she had been using a single incident to try and make it seem like she had a lot more going on with them than she did.

I found out later she considered me some sort of threat and was doing everything in her power to make herself seem more important, and because I knew the guys in that band, she thought she could bullshit me into thinking she knew them better than me. By using her association with them to try and make me feel like a lesser person, she was using their fame to make herself look bigger. Moonie. Band = sun, woman = moon.

We thought about calling people like that "mooninites" but that would be a slap in the face of Adult Swim and Aqua Teen Hunger Force.

Is Yellowstone about to blow?

2007-11-09T07:58:00.000-06:00

My family is is addicted to the Discovery channels, and among the wonderful programming we see every week are some great shows on Nature Science, something I believe everyone in the world should pay attention to. One of the programs we caught some time back was about Yellowstone Park and the gigantic magma chamber that's beneath it. Since then, I've seen other programs and read many articles about the possibility of the magma chamber erupting and creating what could be the biggest volcano we've ever seen in modern times.

So of course, I found this article today: Yellowstone volcano rising at quick pace.

Yeah, I do get a little paranoid sometimes, . . . .

I got it!

2007-11-07T13:35:00.000-06:00

I'm not controversial enough! I'm not outspoken and overly verbose and I don't feel the need to target anyone - I have nothing to create controversy.

So, I'm taking suggestions. What do you think? I could start a male harem, or get multiple facial piercings, then claim I'm being discriminated against. Anyone I could use as a target? And not someone that's already a target - or that's an easy target.

Let the games begin!

Where does violence belong in the Pagan Community?

2007-11-06T11:34:00.000-06:00

I realize there are a lot of different traditions and paths that have no problem with violence, especially against someone that deserves it. Hell, there's a couple of people I wouldn't mind putting a boot up their ass myself, but, . . . .

If we are violent and mindless in our pursuits for what we perceive as "justice," what are we doing to ourselves? I don't care about the Law of Return or any sort of karmic fallout. I'm talking about what we do to ourselves as 1) human beings and 2) Pagans.

I have seen a couple of different posts on other blogs lately referring to what would amount to vigilante justice. If there's a crime being committed and the cops won't do anything about it, then I see nothing wrong with taking things into your own hands. But don't you think you better be damn sure about who you're accusing?

My lovely little town has an unenviable history when it comes to vigilante justice. Right around the turn of the century in the early 1900s, three young black men were lynched on our town square because a white woman accused them of raping her. Of course, it wasn't until after the young men were murdered that the woman came forward and told the authorities she was never raped and had been put up to accusing the young men by several of the "upstanding" white men of our city. Seems that the white business owners of Springfield were tired of the black business owners being so profitable and decided to drive them out of town. Well, they succeeded.

One person. That's all it took.

Was that the right thing to do? No, although I'm sure 100 years ago, that's what the business owners here thought needed to be done. Vigilante justice at it's finest.

You can find all the information in the world about the lynchings here. Just google Springfield, MO, lynching.

****************edited later same day*******************

And here ya go, a perfect example. Witnesses, victims, physical proof, and the charges have been dropped. Justice? Certainly not in this case. Shall we take bets on how long it will be before this church gets burned out?

R.I.P, Dave

2007-11-06T08:01:00.000-06:00

Well, I got up this morning and found my pet rat dead in the kitchen floor. Number one, don't know what he was doing in the floor, and number two, don't know why he died. He had no bite marks or anything, so I'm pretty sure none of the other critters got him. Most likely, it was old age - I have had him for a while. Bleh. So we'll be having a little Dave-the-Rat funeral for him tonight.

I've had pet rats on and off since I was twelve. They make very cool pets, provided they're not psychotic. Dave, unfortunately, was psychotic. He wouldn't bite anyone but me. I never hurt him, always fed him little goodies, and until he punctured the vein in my finger, I would take him out and let him play. Not sure what his deal was. I never had one so strange. Well, considering most pet store rats are bred to be snake food, I imagine intelligence is not high on the "must-have" list.

Anyway, there ya go.

The Pagan Show

2007-11-03T14:17:00.001-05:00

The latest version of The Pagan Show is now up for everyone to see! Not to offend anyone's delicate sensibilities, but there is footage of Gavin and Yvonne Frost (gasp!) at a handfasting during Samhain.

Enjoy!

Sex abuse case here in Springfield, MO

2007-11-02T12:19:00.000-05:00

Not too long ago, an elementary school coach here in Springfield was accused of inappropriate touching by a couple of his fifth grade students. The principal of the school was also brought up on charges for failing to report the incidents in question to the police. In Missouri, all teachers, doctors, clergy, etc. are considered "front line responders" in the case of child abuse, and as the principle of this elementary, she was responsible for reporting it the first time a parent came to her with concerns. She was accused of not doing that, so she got dragged into this as well.

This week, all charges were dropped. Of course, that came AFTER the principal had to go to trial for her charges (acquitted), and both of their careers were ruined, not to mention the hundreds of parents, teachers and children that were left to wonder, "what if?"

Since the accusers are minors, we won't ever know for sure what was going on in their heads, but some of the people familiar with the coach and the children in question seem to think it was little more than a couple of angry ten-year-old girls trying to get revenge on a teacher that made them angry.

"Innocent until proven guilty" doesn't work here, because it's too late for the coach and teacher in question. Their careers are destroyed, their families have been through hell, and this will be with them for the rest of their lives. I also have to wonder what the girls have to look forward to. If they did lie, why? If they didn't, then why weren't charges brought up on this coach before? He's been a coach in our area for twenty years, and it would seem that someone else somewhere would have had a complaint in the past.

Westboro Baptist Church gets what it deserves!!!

2007-10-31T17:39:00.000-05:00

Finally! About damn time these people were put in their place! Now I can only hope they don't drag this out forever. Half the family is lawyers - but it could very well still bankrupt them and close down their church. Wouldn't that be nice?

Here's the story from CNN.

And if you're just really in a mood to get outraged, you can always go here.

You know that rant from yesterday?

2007-10-31T14:54:00.000-05:00

Well, this was just too precious to pass up, so I thought I would share it with you. It came from "The Dancing Wiccans" blog today:

"Knowledge Is Power said...
Mr-E-Anderson said... KIP claims to have produced "proof," but has produced nothing. KIP has produced not one person who has been abused as a direct result of the Frost's book.

How is it that you can blather on endlessly without saying a godamn thing?Fecking moron, I'M traumatized by reading the negative, abusive filth that came out of the Frosts, you asshole, so there's your one victim, now get on your knees and lick the boots of the man you call my leader, you big wet fart out of a donkey's ass.Yeah, I"m dumbing down to your level you tiny dicked fucking jerk.
October 31, 2007 12:49 PM"

*Sigh*

Every time I think there might be hope somewhere, I read something like this. If I was traumatized by everything I read, I think this little bit just might do it for me. Granted, it wasn't directed at me, but I really have to wonder what is gained by stooping to such levels.

A response to an attendee of the RWB

2007-10-31T10:57:00.000-05:00

This is something I had posted up on another blog in response to another person's comment about the events in Ohio:

"I understand not everyone agrees with Drew and his methods, and for that I am grateful. His motives may seem of good intent, but I do question his methods. Please understand that from our end of it, it looks like this whole thing was geared by Drew, orchestrated by Drew, and he's pushing people to declare the Frosts pedophiles and rapists, despite evidence to the contrary. As for the event in Ohio, again, we haven't heard anything about it except for the description that Drew himself gave on the Frosts' blog about the desecration of the effigies. If we knew more about it and the people involved, that might be helpful to everyone, but unfortunately, all we hear is accusations, hate, and basically a bunch of crap. It's the same way with the Frosts - if we all base our decisions on one piece of information, how much accuracy can there really be?"

Just thought that bore repeating.

Wow - so much for maturity (rant warning)

2007-10-30T08:00:00.000-05:00

On and on it goes. How nasty can we get? Not nasty enough, it would seem. Really shows our integrity, doesn't it?

If people want to get nasty, call names, describe sexual acts against children (and dolls), then I really have no use for them. I have better things to waste my time on, like free online gaming or some crap like that.

What a waste. All that energy, all that hatred and vitriol. Imagine the good things that could be done if that kind of passion were put to getting REAL criminals off the street. Imagine how much work we could all do together if we weren't busy trying to destroy each other.

For Gods' sake - if you believe a crime has been committed, then call the bleepin' cops! If you don't have anything else besides hate to spew, then go spew it on your own damn blog and quit screwing it up for the rest of us!

(If you're completely lost, then read "The Dancing Wiccans" blog and read the comments on just the first entry.)

****edited later in the day*****

I've also noted that unless a person slings shit and calls names, you're pretty much ignored, anyway. So much for civility, too, then, huh?

The Pagan Show and other stuff

2007-10-29T08:33:00.000-05:00

Well, got the show done, and in record time, I think. It'll be showing this Friday on channel 26 here in Springfield, MO., and I'll have it up for everyone to see online this Saturday. And yes, it'll have those rabble-rousing, evil people, Gavin and Yvonne! See them rouse the rabble! See them, . . . well, really, all they did was attend the Ball and hang out for a bit. Sorry, nothing weird and disgusting happened at our Witch's Ball. Which, from what I understand, is very different from what happened at the event in Ohio. Holy Gods. I'm still really disturbed to think that, not only were they capable of doing what they did - to dolls, no less - but then turned around and gave a lovely description of it for all to read.

Anyway, I'll let everyone know when the show is up. Meantime, you can go here and see some from the past few months. I'm thinking I'll go ahead and put up some of the older shows from years past from time to time, just for yuks.

My hope for the New Year - maturity for all people. I know that my group and my community has a lot of work ahead of us, and I'm really looking forward to it! All this energy everyone has been putting towards tearing each other down and proving how more depraved one is than the other - it could be put to something much more useful. We are doing more harm to ourselves than any Christian group could ever hope for.

A proposal - unity will be needed in order to move forward. Rather than spending time trying to destroy each other, our time and energy would be better spent creating community. We need to stop attacking each other, especially in public. If you have a problem with someone, take it to that person or group - don't air everything and make us look like even bigger flakes. (I'd also like to take this time to point out that using email and blogs is not always the best way to contact people when you have issues - not everyone is tech-savvy.)

The proposal is to create a kind of contract between groups that would state no public attacks. That doesn't mean you would have to be all buddy-buddy with anyone or even agree with their path. It's simply an agreement to disagree when warranted, but there will be no "airing of grievances." Instead, all parties concerned would act like mature adults and discuss things in a rational manner whenever there is a true problem that requires addressing.

Simple, yes?

I'd like to know what others think of this.

And a good time was had by all!

2007-10-27T15:02:00.001-05:00

We had a great evening, much joy and happiness with Ed and Helen's handfasting. Congratulations to them, and a great job by MJ as the presiding minister. The entire ritual was very touching and the fellowship before and after was wonderful. I have pics up on the Greenleaf Coven Myspace here.

Mom and I had opportunity to discuss a lot of very good ideas and thoughts with Gavin and Yvonne. I have a lot of work ahead of me, but I am very excited about what we are going to be able to do!

I will be very busy for the next couple of days working on "The Pagan Show" for next month, so I may be a tad scarce.

By the way, those people in Ohio that are getting ready to do their "Sacrifice to Caring," . . . . wow. Very sad. It's really obvious that "Caring" is not really a part of their curriculum this weekend. Check out the blog "Pagan Perspectives" for more info on that.

Witch's Ball Tonight!

2007-10-26T07:55:00.000-05:00

Woohoo! Tonight we dance! The Seventh Annual Really Unreal Witch's Ball is tonight here in Springfield, MO. The kids have their costumes ready, Gret and Gaelen have karaoke for us, and we'll be taking Dance Dance Revolution for the kids that are up for it. We've got markers and paper, too.

We're also hosting a handfasting tonight. We'll be holding our Samhain ritual and after we set up the ritual, the handfasting will take place. It'll be wonderful, I'm sure.

My dad is coming over from Kansas, as well as several other friends of ours from his part of the world. And of course, Gavin and Yvonne will be there as well! I've already found the cd with tango music on it and it is in the possession of our dj, Gaelen Christ.

My husband seems to think we may end up talking with the police tonight. I'm not worried. We have a good rapport with our local law enforcement, being as we have done consultant work for them in the past and they are always aware of our public gatherings.

All in all, should be a good night. Then in the morning, we have the annual meeting with the Frosts. Looks like we may be going with a federal charter soon, and a step closer to obtaining that grant!

Whaddaya know? Llewellyn in a controversy!

2007-10-25T20:42:00.000-05:00

From "The Wild Hunt" blog, a story about Carl Weschske, president of Llewellyn, being embroiled in a controversy involving death threats here. Oooh, . . . .

Obviously, the people at Llewellyn are intimidated. Not.

Grrrr, . . . I wasn't gonna do this, . . . . .

2007-10-24T08:07:00.000-05:00

Really, I wasn't, but this just bugs the Hel out of me. When people make assumptions without knowing facts or having anything to back up their claim, we become no better than the people who created "Satanic Panic" in the eighties and nineties. Seriously, people:

WonderGoon Says: October 19th, 2007 at 5:27 pm
AJ Drew Said: “So despite the information being a lie, folk read it and believe it.”
There are sheep amongst us.
Seriously, I think that’s what it boils down to. A lot of people, even amongst Pagans, are sheep. They blindly follow “leaders” who they are impressed by, or whom they first read, and stay right behind them.
In a very few cases, these people will wake up, see what horrible monsters they’ve been following and strike out on their own.
Not saying all Pagan authors are bad, here, just a few.
As for Shadowhawk, if Gavin or Yvonne Frost suddenly stopped, his nose would go straight up their asses.
I am truly curious as to what the Frosts think of him, if they are even aware of his existence. This is a guy who side-stepped the issue of calling people names, calling children names, so he could further attack you.
I do think he has anger issues. I also think he was molested as a child and is covering it up by “protecting” the Frosts, who, deep down, he knows committed these acts.
Sigh. It’s enough to make me want to shit nails.
Be well my friend.WonderGoon

Well, yes, the Frosts do know Shadowhawk. However, the people that continue to write about him don't know him. (For that matter, they don't know the Frosts, either.) They don't know anything about his childhood, and I think making assumptions about it is pretty low. I know Shadowhawk - no surprise, I'm sure - and while I may not always agree with his methods, I definitely don't agree with assuming crap without knowing the truth of the matter.

As for the statement of knowing "deep down," that the Frosts committed "these acts,". . . . for crying out loud, people! Maybe it's my own fault for not taking the bait and subbing onto Pagan Nation to attempt to do away with these idiotic claims. Maybe it's their fault for not bothering to believe their own research and not finding anyone that can make these claims. Let me say this one more time:

I know, for a fact, that I was NOT molested or abused or "ritually deflowered" by the Frosts or my parents. I do not know of ANYone that was, nor do I know of anyone whose parents performed the "ritual deflowering." I am not a history scholar, and I don't know anything about it's origins, so don't ask me.

I know some of the folks from Pagan Nation read my blog, so feel free to share my information. But then again, I fully expect they won't because I might prove someone wrong.

*******Edited on 10/30/07***************
I just found out the person that goes by Wondergoon has this particular entry listed in their blog, saying this is Shadowhawk's blog, and that Wondergoon left some comment somewhere. Well, there was no comment left here by anyone named Wondergoon, and Shadowhawk's blog is called "Pagan Perspectives." You can find on the right side of this blog, at the top. I'm Fenix. How are you? Having a good day? That's nice.

Witch's Ball makes the paper

2007-10-23T17:17:00.001-05:00

Well, I guess we really have to do this now, right? Just kidding!

Witch's Ball in Springfield MO

Yaaaayyy!!! Fun!!!

Seeing some glimmers of hope

2007-10-22T07:39:00.000-05:00

I've been watching many different blogs lately, and man, it's been a crazy couple of weeks in the blogosphere. However, the most interesting thing I've noticed is a decided change in the tone of many bloggers concerning the controversy over Gavin and Yvonne. As I've stated before, I don't study their tradition and I don't necessarily care for their books, but I have known them for a very long time. I do take exception to people accusing them of promoting child abuse because of what amounts to three pages in one book (out of how many others???) that was written some thirty five years ago during a time of sexual revolution and the use of literature for shock value.

When I first waded into this mess, the accusations were that, because of the Frosts' teachings, parents across the country were sexually molesting their children. Anyone involved with the Frosts in the Seventies was suspect. Obviously, I had to chime in. I've noticed there's been a real change since I did. For that, I am grateful. I am grateful that people have enough sense to listen to the facts and think for themselves, rather than allowing themselves to get all worked up over a definite hot-button topic and go along with the mob mentality.

I'm looking forward to seeing Gavin and Yvonne on Friday. They are getting up in years, and I don't know how much longer we're going to be able to have them visit us here in the Ozarks. I really worry about them driving halfway across the country by themselves!

On another note, seems I'm no longer blocked from a certain blog. What a pleasant surprise! - I think.

An article on ritual abuse from Religious Tolerance

2007-10-19T11:44:00.000-05:00

I was surfing the 'net here and ran across this great article on abuse under religious and non-religious settings:

http://www.religioustolerance.org/ra_intro.htm

Definitely worth a read.

My last post on A. J. Drew

2007-10-17T11:30:00.000-05:00

I've been doing some extensive research on Mr. Drew. I think my IQ has dropped by thirty points!

I decided to see what reviewers had to say about his books. It was pretty easy to spot the reviews written by his friends and colleagues. And that one, Midwest Book Reviews, gave every book reviewed five stars. Outside of the reviews that were obvious plants, the words I saw most often were "arrogant," "sexist," "rambling," "incomplete," -- it goes on. Judging by what I saw on the reviews, researching subjects may not be his strongest characteristic.

I personally have not read his books. My coven was sent a couple of his books some years back and we were asked to review them. We thought it would be good to also film a review for the Pagan Show as well. Unfortunately, the people that read those books felt there was not enough good information for us to go ahead with the reviews. I did look through "Wicca for Couples," but I didn't really see anything new in it, so I didn't bother with it. Bad habit on my part, but finding anything new is tough for me.

Anyway, I've decided to compile some entries and their links to segments of Mr. Drew's blog because he has such a difficult time remembering all the things he's said. There's some real beauties in there. I'm not going to post them up here, because if I did, it would be the world's longest blog! And I only got halfway through his entries. Many of the accusations and twisting-of-words are in there, and I've also included a link to a conversation he had with Raven Grimassi, simply because it's a perfect example of the way Mr. Drew likes to twist things around to make everyone else in the world sound like a bad guy.

I've been debating whether or not I should sign up on Paganation.com. But then, what would be the point? My words would be taken out of context and twisted around, just like everyone else's have been.

If you'd like to see what I've compiled so far, let me know. I'll set my blog to "approve comments," and if you'd like to send me an email addy, I'll make sure it doesn't get out for all the crazies to glom onto.

I don't like being vindictive

2007-10-16T09:44:00.000-05:00

I'm considering taking the post below this one down. Wouldn't want to lower myself to others' standards.

I may be blocked, . . .

2007-10-16T07:57:00.000-05:00

But I still have access to the blog I was blocked from.

So I'm curious - who has threatened this guy's life? I haven't seen anyone making threats. Besides, I would think someone with the training he has told us all he has, he shouldn't be threatened in the least by any of us "lesser" individuals.

Just sharing the love, . . . .

"Good Witch’s Bible Part 2
October 15th, 2007 at 23:32 pm by archaeus in Gavin Frost, Good Witch's Bible, Shamanism, Wiccan, Witch, Yvonne Frost

After receiving numerous hostile threats against his life should he continue spreading the truth about Wicca and his opinions as an elder of the craft, Archaeus the Shamanic Witch continues his video commentary on The Witch’s Bible by Gavin and Yvonne Frost discussing the early biased behavior of Wicca against the Gay and Lesbian community.

14Oct2007
Heil Wicca
October 14th, 2007 at 16:24 pm by archaeus in Wiccan

In typical fashion the defenders of the Frosts continue to use anything which I have revealed through posting on this blog as an attack against me.
As expected my child molestation and “gum” incident were likewise used with the usual flair of vindictiveness.
I now share my counterchallenge against such loving people…
“Archaeus said…
People in defense of Wicca claim it a faith filled with perfect love and perfect trust.
Wicca has proven itself a spiritual malignancy which spreads by having adopted the same brutal mentality as Adolph Hitler’s Third Reight.
And like Hitler, Wicca seeks the harvest of young children to better promote its agenda.
You suggest I seek a more sympathetic audience and yet all of you gleefully display a far darker and evil side which only further exemplifies the many rumors spreading about Wicca as true.
But people should come to realize that when such depraved indifference and maliciousness becomes so evident in the behavior of others that it is not a demonstration of strength and superiority but rather desperation and weakness as logic is replaced by emotional response.
Sadly, each of your individual expressions perfectly match characteristically with those behaviors evident within dysfunctional family environments. Where now such behavior seeks forced acceptance through defending such noble causes as Wicca or the Frosts philosophies on preparing adolescent aged children for ritual sex activity within an adult coven environment.
In essence it is not “I” who is victim but rather those who may follow “you” into a never ending cycle of perpetuating dysfunctional behavior.
Clinical psychiatry generally attempts to convince such people to break the cycle of abuse.But most never do and thus the victimization continues in effecting generation after generation.”

Time for a change

2007-10-15T17:36:00.000-05:00

Well, just as I figured would happen, I've grown weary of the name-calling, word-twisting, and nit-picking of this unbelievable drama that certain people have insisted on pushing. I've been accused of wanting to cover up criminal activity, even though I said quite plainly that law-breakers are turned over to the police and I have known there to be law-breakers at gatherings. I've been ignored when presenting facts about my upbringing. And now I've been blocked from one blogger's site because -- well, honestly, I don't know why. We had a civil exchange in which he invited me to continue the conversation, then he promptly blocked me from his blog

What does this all mean? Hell if I know. Most likely, it means what I once thought was a flourishing community is actually a festering cesspool of hurt feelings and hidden agendas. I have spent years trying to convince nonPagans in our area (which happen to be the majority!) that we are not evil monsters out to corrupt their precious little children. I daresay, the work that's been done by Mr. Drew has gone a long way towards destroying that. Had this been approached in a rational, mature manner, some truly good work might have happened. Instead, we have mud-slinging on a level any politician would be proud of.

I am in no way condoning the cover-up of criminal activities at Pagan events. As a matter of fact, there's been a number of events I've attended where the local sheriff or police department was invited out to check things out and make sure no laws were being broken. I myself have had the local fire chief visit my Beltane celebration to make sure everything was in order. It was, and we had a great celebration.

And does Mr. Drew have any regrets for placing all of us in a dangerous position with the rest of the world? I'm not sure the man knows the meaning of the word. I'm also not sure he truly understands the gravity of the situation. It's not been that long ago that I had to go to court myself with an attorney who made disparaging remarks about my ability as a mother simply because I'm Pagan. Thankfully, the judge was smart enough to realize that children cannot be taken away from a parent because of religion. Yes, my ex tried to prove I was an unfit mother and that my children were in danger because I had CANDLES in my house! Not the brightest crayon in the box - which is why he's my ex.

Anyway, the longer this goes on, the more I believe it has truly gotten out of hand. What does it benefit to call people names and accuse them of horrible crimes, especially when there is no proof whatsoever? Who looks the bigger fool then? If you are against pedophila and child rape, then wonderful. You'd be insane not to be, and I applaud your stance. If you want to do something about it, even better. Be the champion. If you know that someone is a pedophile, or if you have reason to suspect someone, please take your proof to the police and turn them in. If there are pedophiles running about, then they need to be taken off the street. Wouldn't you agree? I know that if I thought my children were in danger, I most certainly would do everything in my power to protect them.

No good can come of this circus. Any unbalanced individual can claim a book or a passage from a book compelled them to harm a child or a loved one. What about the people that commit atrocities in the name of the Bible? What about the kids that get their hands on some of the subversive literature from the sixties with instructions on creating bombs? If we are so concerned with the content of one, single book, should we begin censoring ALL books?

When Damien Echols was arrested and charged with the murder of three eight year old boys in West Memphis, AR., he had "The Satanic Bible" and a couple of books on Wicca in his house. By the logic I've seen lately, we should be suspicious of all these books and most likely censor whatever we might find offensive. But as anyone who is familiar with The West Memphis Three knows, that would be utterly ridiculous, for a number of reasons. Of course, that leads me to another question, . . . .

Who among us is capable of deciding what is "right" for reading and what is wrong? Who gets to decide what constitutes "true" Wicca or Paganism? I had always believed that being Pagan meant we think for ourselves, and no one dictates how we worship or think. The whole mentality of "if you're not with me, you're against me" is something Pagans just don't recognize. Or at least, that's what I had always thought.

I do wonder if our spirituality has been watered down by Christianity. We're creating our own Witch hunts now. We don't need anyone else's help to destroy ourselves.

I propose we pull away from this fiasco. I will defend myself, but I will not resort to calling names, questioning mental capacity, or twisting words around to try and imply criminal activity. I would love to see others rise above the immaturity and be a Pagan community again. A house divided will fall -- we should know that by now, and allowing ourselves to be divided will only create chaos -- worse than the chaos we have now.

A Suggestion

2007-10-15T10:11:00.000-05:00

In regards to the hate-spewing individuals that are prevalent on the internet, who continue to blast and accuse without any facts to back up their claims, I have a suggestion.

We are Witches. Why are we not using our abilities to put an end to this travesty? I am not suggesting attacking anyone, harming anyone, or forcing anyone to do anything against their will. In that manner, a broad spectrum of Pagans wil be able to participate in my suggestion.

I propose a mirror spell. For those not familiar with a mirror spell, it's a simple technique that creates an opportunity for any energy sent out to be reflected back on the sender of the energy. That way, if anything harmful or nasty gets sent out, it will simply be reflected back onto the sender.

There are many ways to perform this spell. I would be more than happy to provide any instruction to anyone with questions. In the meantime, it's time for me to get to work.

How very odd!

2007-10-13T01:30:00.000-05:00

So according to "some" self-serving Pagan protector-of-children, a certain childhood friend of mine was rejected by iParenting.com for an article because of her parents' stance on "child sodomy." Well, imagine my surprise to find her in print at . . . . iParenting.com!

http://teenagerstoday.com/resources/articles/teenwitch.htm

So, . . . hm! Who is telling fibs now? Where did I miss the banishing?

Please offer this far and wide!

***UPDATE***

Mr. Drew has found it necessary to continue his smear campaign and have Bronwyn removed from this article. I really have to wonder whether his motivation is truly for the good of the world or if there's some personal vendetta behind this. What good comes from this?

Read this, . . .

2007-10-11T22:00:00.000-05:00

It's a quote from an article about toxic work situations:

"They insert themselves when you're not around. So you're going to have to forge your own PR campaign and let people know the truth. We don't suggest you confront the back stabber -- it won't get you anywhere. But remember, back stabbers think they can't get anywhere on their own, that they have to bring someone down in order to succeed. They'll eventually sink their own ship."

They have to bring someone down in order to succeed, . . . .

We've all been the victim of someone that needs to put others down in order to make themselves feel more important. As Pagans, it's all the more disheartening when someone feels the need to tear another Pagan down just to make themselves look good.

When you see someone start making horrible accusations and demanding heads on platters, may I suggest you do some research on the shit-slinger? You might be surprised by what you find out.

For folks coming to the Witch's Ball

2007-10-09T20:21:00.000-05:00

Here are some motels and prices:

Best Western Coach House Inn
2535 North Glenstone
from $59.99 USD Standard Rate

Comfort Inn & Suites
2815 North Glenstone Avenue
from $76.49 USD

Econo Lodge East
2611 North Glenstone Avenue
from $45.00 USD

Microtel Inn - Springfield
3125 North Kentwood Avenue
from $53.00 USD

Red Roof Springfield
2655 North Glenstone
from $43.99 USD

Super 8 Springfield North I 44
3022 North Kentwood Avenue
from $49.49 USD

Phone numbers are available if you see something that strikes your fancy.

See you there!

Remember?

2007-10-04T22:49:00.001-05:00

Remember when it was ok to be a Pagan? When it was acceptable to run around on private land without a top on and bask in the sunlight? Seriously, there's nothing like it.

Remember when it was ok to be happy with your sexuality and be a woman or man without limitations? To truly embody the God and Goddess? And that would make people smile?

Remember when you could voice an opinion and someone would say, "well, I don't agree, but to each their own"? Remember when we decided to agree to disagree? But we could still be at a gathering at the same time? And there was no bloodshed?

Remember when we would do our best to support each other and be a part of the whole? Remember when we cared about community?

I do.

I really miss it.

When did it become a crime to be a Pagan? Even among other Pagans?

And yet another one, . . .

2007-10-04T22:23:00.001-05:00

A comment on a post that A. J. Drew put up recently:

"October 3rd, 2007 at 8:29 pm
Did you know that earlier this year a woman killed her son because she felt he was possesed. The police went to the library and confiscated a lot of the Frosts books that she had checked out saying that they felt the books contributed to the death of the child.
http://www.religionnewsblog.com/17139/books-seized-in-death-inquiry“The books collected by police Thursday were “The Magic Power of White Witchcraft” by Gavin and Yvonne Frost; “Making the Gods Work for You: The Astrological Language of the Psyche,” by Caroline Casey; and “The Witch’s Book of Magical Ritual: Use the Forces of Wicca to Direct Your Psychic Powers,” by Gavin Frost.”

Speaking as someone that knows the Frosts pretty darn well, I can say without a doubt that they do not condone violence against children. Is there a list of the other books this person owned, or are we only concerned with Frost books? Is it possible there are other books in this person's library? Is it also possible that this person was trying to find a way to stop the anger in their head?

And where is the mention of the Scientology book, and the other Pagan author? Not scandalous enough?

We could always go back to the West Memphis Three in this case. One of the young men had "The Satanic Bible" in his collection. And yet, there are so many Pagans willing to stand up and defend them. Shouldn't we be condemning them, based on this information? Doesn't that make about the same amount of sense?

What sort of insinuation do we have here????

2007-10-04T17:07:00.000-05:00

I don't typically do this sort of thing, but this is just ridiculous!

This is a link to Mr. A. J. Drew's latest blog about Gavin and Yvonne attending a thing called the Samhain Spirit Festival Fireheart in Toledo, Ohio, put on by the Spiritweavers group of that area. So far, he's tried to claim that the Frosts are responsible for omitting from the Spiritweavers' website anyone else as featured speakers and also making the event a "members only" gathering. Now he's saying this:

"Stranger still is the note on the registration site that kids between the ages of 11 and 17 get in for 50% off the cover price. Not a mention of 50% off with paid parent or legal guardian ticket. Just 50% off to any child between the ages of 11 and 17."

What the hell does that have to do with ANYthing? Is he now trying to imply that the Spiritweavers are recruiting children for the Frosts to prey upon? Can you say "libel suit?"

I hope this man and his wife are very proud of the work they are doing. It's now becoming a case of not being able to say or do anything because it might be misconstrued by someone who is desperately looking for any excuse to hurl accusations. Dear god, don't leave out a word! Let's not make the assumption that we might be smart enough to think for ourselves and understand that children are to be accompanied by a parent. No, let's make it sound like it's nothing more than a group of depraved letches trying to get their hands on the children. Yeah, that'll be cool!

It's like we've got our very own Pagan Big Brother. See, Paganism can be mainstream. Aren't we proud?

What I've learned about Drew and the Frosts

2007-10-03T08:17:00.000-05:00

I've learned that no matter what I or anyone else has to say, Mr. Drew and his people are going to believe what they want. They will continue to pick at this and find other reasons to go after the Frosts. My understanding of this whole attack was that Mr. Drew believed children had been sexually molested in the Seventies at the hands of the Frosts and at the hands of their followers. His direction has since changed to something else and he has started nitpicking at events from thirty and forty years ago that really don't have anything to do with the original charges of child molestation. He is now claiming that by writing the original offending passage, they are promoting sexual abuse and child molestation in that manner. I understand the Frosts presented the original passage as an historical reference. Mr. Drew claims that's a lie.

Quite frankly, I don't care to get caught up in the semantics of who wrote what in what context and whether or not it's really historical or not. If people really want to get into that, may I suggest a book called "Steal This Book!" by Abbie Hoffman or "The Anarchist Cookbook," by William Powell. I can also find a book on how to identify and execute Witches. All of these books offer suggestions and instructions that, if people were to follow, all hell would break loose. Fortunately, the majority of people in our country have the ability to read something and think for themselves! They can make their own decisions as to whether or not they want to break the law, and believe me, these books are chock full of information on how to break the law.

One of things I find most fascinating about all of this is that if you were to ask most Wiccans and Pagans what their opinions are of the Frosts, they would respond with, "who?" Those that have read their books don't care for them. Quite frankly, I don't either. I've tried to read a couple of them, and wow -- it's sensationalist and archaic.

Oh, yeah, that's something I caught yesterday on all the blogs and crap. Mr. Drew has accused the Frosts of using all this sensationalism to sell their books. If I'm not mistaken, didn't Mr. Drew start all this crap in the first place? If he had never decided to wage this little campaign and sacrifice effigies (or whatever the hell it is he's doing - I've heard several different things now), Gavin and Yvonne would be living the quiet life of a retired couple inWest Virginia. Instead, they have found themselves traveling all over the country yet again. Kinda crazy.

And even though I've come to accept that it does no good for me to reiterate what I know and what I've experienced at the hands of the Frosts and my parents, let me say it again -- I was never molested sexually by the Frosts or my parents (their students) at any time. I was never involved in any ritual that included dildos. I don't know of anyone that was ever molested. The children weren't even allowed to participate in ritual. And I lost my virginity the old-fashioned way - with a guy I was dating in high school.

So go ahead and call me "stupid." This whole ordeal has taught me a lot about the kind of people there are claiming to be Pagans. Evidently, even Pagans are incapable of growing and learning at some point. We are no better than Christians. We put on blinders and follow our own dogma, come hell or high water. Facts don't matter if it's not what we want to hear. It pains me to see so much of Christianity influencing our once liberating spirituality.

If I were smart enough, I'd write my own damn book. Ah, but I don't know anyone at Llewellyn. Bleh.

Wow

2007-09-29T23:32:00.000-05:00

I am so disappointed. No one has asked me about my history with the Frosts. Am I not important enough? I've got tons of history I can share. Could it be that I don't have the sordid details some are hoping for? Could it be that I only have dull details of day to day normal life that no one wants to know about? Could it be that no one really wants the truth? Well, not necessarily. I'm doing an interview next week about my life with the Frosts on Pure Pagan Radio. Will that clear things up? Probably not. Some people will only believe what they choose. But I can say, without a doubt, that I do know some things that others choose not to hear. So, . . . you can hear me and know the truth or continue to get caught up in the hysteria.

Frost, Gavin and Yvonne

2007-09-29T01:54:00.000-05:00

Titled so that everyone can find me --

Trying to offer my years of experience to the masses, but haven't heard anything so far. Here's my Frosty resume, . . . .

1971 - met Gavin, Yvonne, and Jo
1974 - my parents were initiated by the Frosts
1976 - we all moved to New Bern N.C. so my parents could help run the Church and School of Wicca
1988 - went to a seminar in Branson with the Frosts and rekindled my path onto Paganism
1999 - traveled to North Carolina for Week 50
2000 - started annual Samhain seminar with the Frosts as guest speakers
2007 - hosting the Frosts at our Witch's Ball

Still friends with Jo, still friends with Gavin and Yvonne, and still have no sordid stories to tell. Maybe that's why no one has contacted me yet, . . . . .

This whole A. J. Drew thing

2007-09-10T11:44:00.000-05:00

Yeah, I haven't said anything about this because I pretty much think the man is nuts and just trying to get attention. I don't read his blog because I know it'll just piss me off and I'll post something on there. See, I know the Frosts pretty darn well. My parents worked with them back in the seventies - when all this alleged child molestation was taking place. I've posted up and offered to talk with Mr. Drew, but I've never heard from him. And I'm really confused by some of the posts I've been seeing from him.

Yes, today I finally went onto his Pagan Nation blog and looked through some of the crap he's been posting. A couple of months ago, I understand he was telling people he had dozens of "victims" willing to come forward and accuse Gavin and Yvonne of all sorts of horrible things. Well, the latest thing I've seen indicates they've got no one coming forward (hello - what am I? chopped liver?), and maybe they were all brain-washed using cult-like techniques. Wow. Also, a couple of months ago, he was all about burning these effigies of the Frosts at his gathering in October. Now he's claiming he never said that????? Pretty amazing, considering the number of people that went ballistic over the whole idea of burning anyone at all in effigy! Oh, and he also seems to feel at least a half dozen people have made death threats against him, and one of them was because - get this - they created an effigy of him and destroyed it!

I get the feeling he's lost his credibility. Not that he had too much to begin with, I suppose. My understanding is he's always been kind of on the fringe.

It has crossed my mind that this guy isn't even really a Pagan, and all of these machinations have been a covert attempt to destroy Paganism from the inside. What better way than accusations of pedophilia?

Then there's my husband's theory that Drew is himself a pedophile. Let's see if that gets his attention.

Springfield Missouri Juggalo Show

2007-06-27T08:07:00.000-05:00

Everyone needs to go see the Springfield Juggalo Show!

woot woot!

Confusion

2007-06-19T07:36:00.000-05:00

So things have been going pretty good - I've been busting my ass to do the right things for my husband, and I thought he was happy. Now, all of a sudden, he's depressed and unhappy, and I don't know why. I've been doing everything he asked. Was he happier when I was being the evil bitch and doing whatever the hell I wanted? Is there something I'm not doing that he DID want me to do?

He says it's not me, but it's really hard for me to believe that.

dragging up the past

2007-06-15T11:57:00.000-05:00

One of the things that has been most difficult for me this past week is remembering all the horrible things I've done to other people. I know I treated some people very badly, and I have tried to put that all behind me and move on, maybe make a better life for myself and my children. I don't want my boys to end up like me. But I have been reminded lately of the way I was treating people eight or ten years ago. I was not a nice person, and I know that. It's a very painful thing for me to remember.

I'm sure there's a reason why I have to go back and look at all these horrible things that I did - I treated people badly, I broke hearts, I lied. My life now is wonderful, and I could never imagine doing anything like that to my husband, but of course, he doesn't believe me. All of my past actions have been dragged back to my attention. I don't even like to think about it. But I know he has his reasons for it.

this evening's silliness

2007-06-14T21:35:00.000-05:00

Get Code | Create Your Own!

moving forward in my life

2007-06-14T09:41:00.000-05:00

I haven't written anything on here for a very long time. Bad move on my part, I know, but my life has taken some interesting turns as of late.

First and foremost, I did something very stupid last weekend and almost destroyed my marriage. My husband was ready to pack up and leave me because of it. I'm not going to go into details about what I did - it was entirely my fault and I take full responsibility for all of it. Since then, my husband and I have had many, many conversations, and I've been forced to admit to him that I have a specific psychological problem. Again, not gonna go into detail about it. It was hard enough for me to talk to my husband about it, so I'm not about to start posting details of my problems here.

We've been working very hard - together - to try and get past my mistake and understand what we can do to live with this problem I have. He's been incredibly patient and understand with me. I don't know what I would have done if he had left. I'm very grateful for everything he is doing for me right now. It's given me a feeling of security that I realized I've never had. I have been in love before, but I have never felt being loved. I think I may have been incapable of feeling love from another. This is kind of a whole new thing for me to be able to understand and know that another person can and does love me as much as I love them.

And it only took me forty years!

Ice Storm 07

2007-01-29T20:02:00.000-06:00

Here where I live in Springfield, Mo., we had a huge ice storm on January 12th. For some reason, very few people even heard about it. I'm surprised. When other areas of the world suffer from natural disasters of this magnitude, it makes headlines for days, and tons of aid pours into the area. We've gotten dick so far.

My friends and family - not to mention myself - went without power for days, almost two weeks in some cases. We had subzero temperatures during that time. People died.

And the destruction, . . . .

It's going to take our city months to get everything cleaned up again.

And yet, it seems as if no one else in the world even cares about it.

I heard you, Malachi

2006-11-23T23:07:00.001-06:00

I Heard You, Malachi
Wednesday, November 22 2006 @ 10:56 AM PST

On Friday, November 3, a man doused his body with gasoline and set himself afire to protest the war in Iraq. He died quietly in flames. His name was Malachi Ritscher.

Haven't seen it in the news? Me neither, which is kind of strange if you ask me, considering that it happened right here in downtown Chicago in front of hundreds of commuters during morning rush hour. The only conventional newspaper coverage to date was a tiny paragraph that appeared in the Saturday edition of the Chicago Sun-Times. Since then...nothing.

http://www.iheardyoumalachi.org/story.html#diaz

Did you ever burn your hand on a stove? Do you remember the pain of it?

On Friday, November 3, a man doused his body with gasoline and set himself afire to protest the war in Iraq. He died quietly in flames. His name was Malachi Ritscher.

Haven't seen it in the news? Me neither, which is kind of strange if you ask me, considering that it happened right here in downtown Chicago in front of hundreds of commuters during morning rush hour. The only conventional newspaper coverage to date was a tiny paragraph that appeared in the Saturday edition of the Chicago Sun-Times. Since then...nothing.

Should we concerned about the lack of coverage? This is serious, friends. You don't have to be a communication scholar to know that the news media go by the maxim, "When it bleeds, it leads." In a time of intense controversy over war, a man offers up his life and endures prolonged, excruciating pain to make a tangible statement of his belief in peace - are we to believe that this isn't newsworthy?

When Thich Quang Duc, the Vietnamese Buddhist monk, set himself on fire in 1963 to protest the corrupt and brutal regime of Ngo Dinh Diem, it was all over the media. A lucid, well respected American citizen makes the ultimate sacrifice on American soil four days before a national election - I ask again: is there no story here?

I would assert that there are two stories here. One is that A MAN SET HIMSELF ON FIRE NOVEMBER 3rd FOR WHAT HE BELIEVED IN. The other is that, in a society where a rogue government is afforded the power to "create reality" and where the once objective news media have become politicized conglomerates either owned by or cozy with the powers that they are supposed to be watchdogging, a lack of coverage on a newsworthy story warrants close scrutiny.

Deeply disturbed by this event since I got word of it, I felt compelled to investigate it further. In memory of Mr. Ritscher, I write now of both stories.

As you read, I implore you: agree or disagree, but do not be indifferent. This man's message was important enough to him to choose an excruciatingly painful death - so that you and I would hear it.
A traffic nuisance

Malachi Ritscher had a home-made sign with him when he left the house Friday morning. Firefighters found it next to his charred remains. It read, "Thou shalt not kill."

A jazz aficionado who produced professional recordings of countless performers in local venues, Ritscher was well loved in the Chicago jazz community and has been described by members of that scene as being a warm, modest and selfless individual. A long-time music enthusiast, Ritscher was a fixture at several local jazz haunts. He was said to be very generous - band members tell that he would pay the admission fee for their gig, record their performance, and then offer them the recording he had made free of charge. Many of the recordings were later sold commercially. Others corroborate Ritscher's generous nature. "He gave me peppers from his garden!" cried bartender Janice W., tearing up when she heard what he had done.

Ritscher was deeply disturbed by the United States' waging of war in Iraq , which has led so far to the deaths of hundreds of thousands of Iraqis. In his mission statement, posted on his homepage along with a self-written obituary, he writes of his morbid actions:

"I refuse to finance the mass murder of innocent civilians...What is one more life thrown away in this sad and useless national tragedy? If one death can atone for anything, in any small way, to say to the world: I apologize for what we have done to you, I am ashamed for the mayhem and turmoil caused by my country."

One can only imagine what Ritscher must have been thinking as he made his way to the site of his self-immolation - the aptly chosen "Flame of the Millenium" sculpture west of Chicago 's downtown loop. Would Americans appreciate his sacrifice? Would it be a force for good in the world? One thing he surely didn't expect, as he watched a sea of morning commuters crawl by on the nearby Kennedy expressway: that it would go unnoticed.

But that is just what has happened. At some point after Ritscher's ordeal began, a motorist called police to report that a statue was burning. Except for those who happened to read the blurb in the Sun-Times or to see a short "breaking news" spot on Chicago's CBS2 local news station, the hundreds of motorists who drove by the incident still know it only as a traffic annoyance - that "statue-fire" that was slowing things up on the I-90 Friday morning.
A different kind of news hole

Because there has been no further coverage of it in any of the main news outlets, they - and most other Americans - will never know what Ritscher did - what one man was willing to do to make a difference in the world.

"I don't understand," people have told me. "Why wouldn't the papers run it?" Their puzzlement comes from a lingering, tenacious belief in the objectivity of the news. Moments like these - high news value, no story - are particularly valuable in that they expose our news media for what they have become: corporate black boxes from which the only news that escapes is that which cooperates with profit margins and political allegiances.

In the new era of "synergy," or coordinated advertising among corporate affiliates, media conglomerates have formed alliances with some of the (other) largest companies in the world. Time-Warner/AOL, the globe's largest media conglomerate and owner of CNN, is affiliated with cooperative giant Kraft and Viacom, another corporate behemoth. Additionally, the generous campaign contributions invariably made by such conglomerates to politicians suggests another kind of synergy - a political one. As it pertains to objective news reporting, synergy means that there are more toes to step on - and therefore more rules to follow - about what types of stories reporters can run (and more importantly, not run).

The fact that Ritscher's bold anti-war message came right before an election, combined with the conspicuous lack of coverage on the event suggests a conservative bias to the news, not a liberal one, as goes the government-sanctioned myth on the topic.

Some will suggest "copycat prevention" as an explanation for the lack of coverage; news outlets are known to occasionally self-censor sensational acts of murder or suicide in order to avoid glamorizing them and inspiring similar behavior in others. But they routinely break this rule when the murder or suicide is deemed important enough for the public to know about. Reports of school shootings have been followed by more school shootings, but we still hear of those. Why? Because the American public needs to know what's going on in our schools. We also need to know the effect the war is having on its citizens.
Ritscher's passion

Although his act might have had some influence on the midterm elections, had it been heard, the relevance of his message extends beyond any short term outcome. Instead, Ritscher entreats Americans to change their attitudes.

Lamenting what he saw as a moral vacuousness in American culture, the would-be martyr felt that Americans are "...more concerned with sports on television and ring-tones on cell-phones than the future of the world." Ritscher saw the problem as being due to a gross deficiency of personal responsibility in American culture, and offered his self-immolation in a spirit of unified atonement.

Some have suggested that Ritscher's actions can be explained by mental illness. It seems clear that the man was deeply troubled. But it is not clear how that negates his message. At a time when 10% of Americans are taking psychiatric medication, the marginalization of "the mentally ill" as an identifiable group of people radically different from ourselves is making less and less sense. Besides "disturbed," Ritscher is also described by those who knew him as being an animated, friendly person who talked enthusiastically of his many interests and travels in addition to his political beliefs.

Another description that people have applied to Ritscher's mind-boggling choice is "senseless." But his own mission statement offers an elegant response to that notion:

"My position is that I only get one death, I want it to be a good one. Wouldn't it be better to stand for something or make a statement, rather than a fiery collision with some drunk driver? Are not smokers choosing death by lung cancer? Where is the dignity there? Are not the people the people [sic] who disregard the environment killing themselves and future generations?"

In addition to intent, the mission statement reveals a strong sense of moral duty and a faith in the God of his understanding. In the document, he presents his act as an example of a lived, choice-based faith that he feels is lacking from modern religious life.

In a gentle - but pointed - rebuke to Christian pop culture, which is said to have been a key factor in both of George W. Bush's presidential campaigns, Ritscher asks, "Who would Jesus bomb?" And alluding to the intense and politicized culture warring of recent years, he implores Christians, Jews and Muslims alike to believe that "God's message is tolerance and love, not self-righteousness and hatred."

As beings we are born with a life currency and the administrative powers to spend it as we see fit. Some will denounce Malachi Ritcher for squandering his life-money. Others will love him for putting it where his mouth was. No matter where you fall on that continuum you must agree: his act should buy him more than a mere traffic mention. Unfortunately, all the papers want these days is the green stuff.

Jennifer Diaz is a graduate student of communication at the University of Illinois at Chicago. She can be contacted at iheardyoumalachi.org or at indiejennn@gmail.com.

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god

2006-11-21T20:11:00.001-06:00

god is the glue that holds the uni/multiverse together. god is the
breath of life. god is a molecule, a sun, a storm, a rock, a far
away planet, a meteor shower, a moment of clarity, emotion, song,
existence. god is all that we know. god is endless, infinite,
without boundary. there is no wrong way to call to or worship god.
no emotion or feeling is wrong when you call to god because god is
everything.

every emotion
every word
every thing
every person
every desire
every thought

this is what defines god. as such, there is no wrong emotion or
thought or desire. how we act upon those thoughts and emotions and
desires is what defines us as human beings.

we are all here together. how we choose to treat each other while we
are here defines our lives just as much as our relationship to god.

we do not have to 'reach out' to god because we are god and god is
us. we are not 'as god' -- we are god. we are not 'gods' -- we
are god. one cannot exist without the other. within this dimension,
within this existence, we occupy the same space. we are a
manifestation of god within this plane.

philosophy, take one

2006-11-21T06:31:00.000-06:00

when we start looking for a spiritual home, we tend to search out for like-minded people and philosophies. my belief is that while it is possible to find those that are like-minded, we will not be able to find a spiritual philosophy for ourselves anywhere outside of ourselves.

'if that which you seek, you do not find within, ye will never find without.'

by our very existence, we create our own realities. within our own realities, we have our own ethics and morals and truths. by our own experiences, we learn what works best for us and we develop our truths over years of learning. however, what works for one does not always work for another. for instance, if i choose to limit my physical relationship to one person - and that is what works for me - then, great. i have my truth. but if another person chooses to open themselves to a full range of physical relationships with as many others as they see fit - and it works for them - then that is their truth. their truth, their ethics and their reality is absolutely no one else's business or concern but their own. this where traditional religion falls into disarray.

traditional religions have a set of rules or tenets that everyone within that religion is expected to follow. leaders within insist on pushing what is essentially their interpretation of these rules onto everyone that will listen - and some that don't care to listen. of course, it is each individual's choice as to whether or not they choose to listen to their religious leaders in these matters. if a person is so void of the ability to recognize their own reality and existence, then it's a very easy feat to force another's views down their throat.

and just how would someone go about destroying another's reality? fear, manipulation, abuse, lies, brainwashing - tools of control and destruction. by encouraging an absence of self-awareness, a person could very easily step in and recreate another's reality into their own image. thinking for one's self cannot be allowed in this case. if a person is allowed to think for themselves, they can begin to create their reality, outside of the manipulation of someone else's overbearing rules and tenets.

and if that happened - well, just where would we be then?